Something Old - Dianne L. Christner [112]
How did Katy always manage to turn everything inside out and hurl it back at him? “But you like your job at the Brooks. There are a lot of good outsiders, Katy. Good jobs waiting for you.”
Her jaw dropped open momentarily. Then she flew into a passionate protest. “Surely you know how many struggles I’ve had with the Brooks’ job? It’s tested me in every aspect of my faith.”
He quirked his mouth, trying to lighten her mood. “And that’s a bad thing?”
“Of course it is,” she snapped.
Her narrow-mindedness was increasingly irritating. “I disagree. It’s how I found my faith.”
“At the expense of others. Your little fling caused damage, Jake. How can you be so flippant?”
Her retort cut deeply. He braked for a light, hurt that she felt the need to continually punish him. He lived with the pain of his sister’s rebellion and of the damaged relationship with Katy. He had already bared his past like an open book, hoping she would understand that he hadn’t intentionally set out to hurt her. But Katy wouldn’t forgive him or believe that he’d changed. She kept ripping open the old wounds. She would never let them heal. It was unfair.
He slapped the steering wheel with both palms, and then gripped it firmly. “You think you are so perfect, living your self-righteous life. But I’m not your puppet, and I don’t want a mean-spirited woman.”
Her eyes widened and her sulky lower lip dropped. Then suddenly her nostrils flared. “Right. I remember your type.”
“At least Jessie was an honest person. She didn’t pretend. She was kind and fun to be around. You may look good on the outside, but you have an unforgiving heart.”
“Don’t try to put the blame on me. You are just like Tammy, trying to get your own way and not caring how it affects people around you.”
Jake laughed out loud in disbelief. Katy crossed her arms and jerked her gaze to stare out the passenger window. He shook his head. No use in talking to someone so stubborn and deceived. They drove in charged silence until they reached the doddy house.
He hurt bad inside because he knew this time there would be no reconciliation. They’d spoken words they could never retract. He needed to say something before she jumped out of the truck. He reached over tentatively and touched her arm.
She looked up at him, the stubborn set of her face slackened lightly, and he glimpsed something vulnerable. Somewhere in there was the woman he had once known. That was the woman he loved. He wanted nothing more than to lean over and kiss her. But she’d forbidden that, hadn’t she? She’d kissed David, but she refused him. His pride swelled, and his resolve hardened. This woman was impervious, and he just didn’t have the heart for it anymore, so he told her what she’d been trying to tell him all along. “You’re right. It’s not going to work between us. We’ve both changed. I’m sorry.”
She yanked her arm away. “I’m sure it won’t take you long to find a woman on the Internet. Somebody who understands you. Or maybe Jessie will take you back.” Tears streaming down her cheeks, Katy jerked the door handle and jumped out. In her wake, the door slammed and shook the cab.
He refused to watch her walk away and kept his gaze straight ahead. It was all he could do not to spin his tires in the gravel. In his mind’s eye, he could see her marching to the doddy house. Stubborn, foolish woman who made him furious. If he had a hammer in his hand, he would surely demolish something.
Jake drove, hardly noticing the traffic signs, his mind churning with anger and guilt. Finally he pulled over, his wheels partly on the road and partly on a sloped embankment. He no longer felt like swinging a hammer; he felt like crumbling. He couldn’t talk to Chad or Cal. Guys didn’t take much to weakness, weren’t good at helping a guy deal with a broken heart. He’d never had one before, but he felt like he’d explode if somebody didn’t help him. He tried calling Lil, but she didn’t answer. For several minutes, he sat with his phone against his forehead. He tried again. Still no answer. Then he tried his sister. When she answered, he blurted out,