Something Old - Dianne L. Christner [113]
“Sure. I’ll meet you outside the dorm.”
“Twenty-five minutes?”
“Okay.”
When Jake reached the southern edge of the manicured lawns and red-bricked university buildings, he calmed a bit. It helped just to get away from the country and everything that reminded him of Katy. He pulled to the side of the road in a no-parking zone and glanced at Canfield Hall, wondering if he should text Erin.
But then he saw her standing on the sidewalk near the residence halls. When she started running toward him, he jerked his gearshift in PARK and jumped down out of the cab. Erin pulled him into a firm embrace.
“I’m so sorry,” she said.
He didn’t say anything. Erin knew how much he loved Katy. She’d conspired with him the afternoon of the ballet, jumping in to entertain Addison so that he could spend time with Katy. He clung tight to his little sister, leaning his head on top of hers. Just feeling the beat of her heart brought him a sense of assurance. Finally, Erin drew back, touched his cheek. “You can’t park here. Can we go someplace? Wanta go get coffee?”
“No.” He shook his head. “Someplace private.”
“Let’s go down to the lake.”
He agreed, and at Mirror Lake, they found a vacant bench, but the location probably wasn’t ideal. Many lovers strolled through the park, reminding him of his great loss.
He slunk forward. “It’s over.”
“You want to tell me what happened?”
“She’ll never forgive me. She thinks I’m contaminated. Says my falling away has done irreparable damage to others.” He looked at Erin, and her face had paled. Yet he needed to get it all out. “She’s right. Because of me, she’s changed. I’ve ruined her.”
Erin sucked in a deep breath. “No. She’s responsible for who she is. She can’t blame you for that.” Erin brushed his hair with her hand. “I don’t understand why she can’t see how you’ve changed.”
He shrugged. “You’re the one taking psychology. The thing is, I want the old Katy. It’s hopeless. All we do is fight when we’re together.”
Erin rubbed her forehead with a ringed hand. She lifted her gaze out across the water. “This is awful,” she said. “I thought Katy would take you back.”
He stared at his sister, who had changed so much in the past six months. She dressed in jeans and wore jewelry and makeup. Although her hair was still long, in many ways she resembled Jessie. He grabbed her by her upper arms. “The Bible’s right about one thing.”
“What?” she asked, widening her eyes.
“We reap what we sow. Erin, don’t let the same thing happen to you. Promise me, you won’t let your falling away ruin your life.”
“You’re scaring me. Your life’s not ruined.” She cupped his face with her hands. “It’s all reversible, right?”
He gently pushed her hand away. “Once I thought it was. Now I don’t.”
“Sure it is. Before you know it you’ll be reaping the good stuff. The blessings.”
“Maybe. But it’s too late with Katy. And that’s something I’m going to regret the rest of my life.”
Katy flung herself on her bed. Jake had dumped her. He’d begged her to forgive him, and then he’d dumped her. The cruel words he’d tossed at her burned through her mind: Self-righteous, mean-spirited, unforgiving. If she was any of those things, it was because he’d caused it. Still, it hurt so bad to know he felt that way about her. She hated him for putting the blame back on her. She hated herself for giving him reason to do it.
She had known from the start that she was wrong to blame him for the bad interview, but still she had gone down that destructive path. And to what end? She’d left him with no way out because she wanted to punish him. She’d brought this on herself because she couldn’t forgive him. She thought she had, but she must not have, because she wanted to punish him again and again for his rejection, his betrayal. Now she disgusted him. She disgusted herself.
He wouldn’t care that he’d lost her, but she would. And she would never get over him.
She bunched up her pillow and released pent-up pain and anger. She punched it and moaned. She hated him. She hated herself.
CHAPTER 33
Katy,