Something Old - Dianne L. Christner [115]
Brother Troyer ended the sermon by challenging his congregation to trust a loving God with their winters. The idea invaded the core of Katy’s heart like a live coal. As it burned deeper, she prayed, I want to believe, Lord. Please help me.
Before she knew it, Megan and Lil were singing on either side of her. She felt glad Lil had urged her to come to church. The sermon had given her hope, and she couldn’t wait to find some time alone to pray and ask God to give her direction and shower her with an emotionalspiritual spring. She had to believe that the burning sensation she’d felt at the conclusion of the sermon was God’s drawing her, wooing her.
Time after time, she had ignored God’s voice. Yet He still wooed her. That was amazing.
But after the closing prayer, Katy remembered Jake. She returned her hymnal to the rack in the back of the pew in front of her and slowly turned. Her eyes scanned the sanctuary. Thankfully, he wasn’t anywhere in sight. Relief flooded through her. Either he hadn’t come and was at home lying in a bed of misery like she had been, or he had shot out the back at once, dreading their meeting as much as she did.
“I’m going to go find Mom,” Lil said.
Katy watched her friend depart, feeling a bit forsaken. But she understood that Lil was still worried about her mom’s depression. Feigning a smile, she turned to Megan. “I’ll bet you’re excited about your trip.”
Megan’s blond head bobbed. “So excited. I don’t know how I’ll ever wait until June.”
They moved down the center aisle, maneuvered around clusters of farmers eager to get in the fields and discussing disking and planting.
Megan added, “The sermon was awesome. I kept applying it to my life. Graduating and my trip. I can’t wait for summer to come so I can get to the good stuff, you know?”
Awestruck that God could use a sermon to speak to an entire congregation in a personal way, Katy nodded. “I feel the same way.”
Megan gave her a curious look. “Something’s happened, hasn’t it?”
“Yes, but I don’t want to tell you about it here.”
“All right. But I hope it’s a good thing. You deserve something good.”
The comment struck Katy as odd. Did she? Hadn’t Jake said she was self-righteous and ugly on the inside? Sometimes she felt like she was two persons, the proper one on the outside, and the enemy on the inside. How did anyone ever get that inside woman to jive with the outside one? If only Megan knew the real her, she’d realize she didn’t deserve much. No. What happened wasn’t good. At least not now, while she still hurt.
They shook hands with Brother Troyer and stepped into the foyer, and then Katy’s heart plummeted straight to the carpet. There stood Jake next to the exit. She had a view of his profile, and he had a happy expression. She ground her teeth. Happy to be rid of her. Happy because he was talking to two girls. Her eyes narrowed, and she tightened her grip on her purse. Then she noticed with relief that one was his sister, Erin.
She felt conflicting emotions. Katy should be happy that Erin was back in church. It was an answer to Jake’s prayers. But a selfish meanness arose in her that resented any kind of happiness for him today while she was hurting. At the same time, she felt ashamed.
Erin started laughing. She was dressed in her normal conservative clothing. Had Jake made all that up about her falling away? But Erin’s guest was a definite outsider. Jake was staring—or more like flirting—with a blond girl. A definite outsider, so maybe Erin hadn’t changed. Jake, either.
Jealousy flooded through her. How could he be able to flirt and forget her so easily? Then the blond girl moved, and Katy saw her face. The girl wore a nose ring. Katy gasped. Her jealousy reared like a wild stallion, an uncontrollable beast. Jessie! With bleached hair. Her entire hair, not just one strand.
For an instant, she stood spellbound and incredulous. The waiflike woman wore the highest spiked shoes Katy had ever seen. Her slender legs showed way too