Something Old - Dianne L. Christner [74]
She thought he might try to kiss her, but then his hand fell away, and he left her alone to the sound of his truck rumbling down the country road and to the blackness that could only be midnight.
Jake shifted gears. Although he’d grown up on a farm, the country road stretched out dark and lonely as his heart. He ached inside for his mistakes, for the beautiful, dark-eyed beauty he’d just taken to dinner. He ached because he was afraid to hope that she might give him a second chance.
Over dinner he’d watched her expressive eyes. He’d seen the desire in them when he admitted he still wanted her. But when she spoke, her eyes had glittered with anger, and when he’d asked her to forgive him, they had saddened with regret. Her lips also held clues. When he spoke about Jessie, they quivered. When he talked about the changes he had made, coming back to the church, she had tucked them between her teeth, showing her suspicions. And when he had wanted to kiss her on the porch, they had seemed willing. But he had made that mistake before. So he left, almost abruptly, to keep from giving in and pulling her into his arms. He knew she was not ready. With a sigh, he turned on the radio.
CHAPTER 20
Katy spent Sunday with her family. They enjoyed a meal of ham and coleslaw, and her married brothers and their wives all played the card game Rook, while Katy’s oldest niece entertained the toddlers. The fireplace crackled, and Katy’s heart swelled with love for her family that only weeks earlier she’d taken for granted. She considered the new confidence in Karen’s behavior.
“Can I bring anyone anything?” Karen had asked between rounds.
Katy realized that Karen had become her mom’s new chief helper. It sent a twinge of regret through her to be replaced, yet she knew that just like her married siblings, she would always remain a vital member of the family.
But later that evening it was good to get back to her cozy little doddy house, where Lil fed her popcorn and asked her about the ballet, assuring her that this time, whatever she said would remain confidential. Lil deserved details since she’d donated her beautiful dress to the cause.
Both girls relaxing on the couch, Katy re-spun the spell.
Lil purred, “What a fairy-tale evening.”
“Probably my one and only. The church forbids dancing. Do you think the ballet is sinful? That it’s wicked to watch men dance in their tight costumes? Now I know why they are called tights, too.”
Lil giggled. “I have no idea. Did Jake seem embarrassed by it?”
Katy considered the question. “No. But he never gets embarrassed. I used to think any form of dancing was wrong, but it was so beautiful. Then again, at Addison’s dance studio some of the girls were taught seductive moves.” She sighed. “It’s confusing.”
“The outsiders call it art. I suppose it depends on disciplining your thoughts.”
“I was captivated by the entire spectacle. The theater, not the guys.” Katy reiterated, nestling comfortably against the leather armrest. “But maybe that was wrong, too. Just basking in such wealth and splendor. Nothing humble about the Ohio Theatre.” She shrugged. “I’m struggling with the whole evening.”
Lil gazed at her with understanding.
Katy bit her lip then went on, “Especially since I let my guard down with Jake. I don’t think I’ll ever get over him. What if I turn him away, and he marries someone else? I’ll be miserable. After he shared his story with me, I feel partly to blame because when he was restless, I wasn’t able to help him. He didn’t feel comfortable talking to me about it. He told me that he didn’t even think he was a Christian at the time.”
“You can’t change the past. And if he wants to be with you now, then that’s more important. Present definitely trumps past.” Katy figured Lil must have played Rook with her family, too. But this was no game. This was her future.
On Monday, Katy couldn’t help