Something Old - Dianne L. Christner [73]
“Why did you come back to the Conservative Church instead of Cal’s?”
“Because I love it here. And you’re right about grace. It was here all the time, but I was too wrapped up in the dos and don’ts to understood it. Now I realize that church restrictions are put in place to shield us from temptation. They don’t get us to heaven. I could attend a higher church without going against my conscience.”
Katy wondered how he could be content in either church. Couldn’t he see the differences between them? “So you came back because of your friends, and you intend to live Conservative the rest of your life?”
He nodded. “I knew that I had to come back for you. I knew that you’d probably refuse me, but I had to try to recover my most precious loss. Aside from God. Except I don’t think I was ever a Christian to begin with.”
That startled Katy.
“But I am now,” he quickly clarified.
She believed he had repented for his falling away, but she didn’t know if she could take him back. She longed to know how intimate he’d been with the other woman, and yet she didn’t know if she could handle the truth. The question tickled her lips. “I always thought we would get married. To me, it was like you committed adultery.”
“But I didn’t. We weren’t even engaged. If anything, my experience deepened my love for you.”
The admission of his love caught her off guard. She didn’t know how to respond, wanting him, yet not sure she could forgive him. She wanted to trust him.
He looked so handsome in his Sunday suit, but it reminded her that this date was still part of the fairy-tale experience. He seemed caught up in it, too. As much as she desired him, she knew she wasn’t ready to take him back. But how could she let him go? She felt torn.
The waiter returned to their table. “Are you finished with these?”
Katy nodded.
“May I bring you a dessert menu? We have freshly churned ice cream.”
“That sounds good. I’ll have chocolate.” Jake said.
“Me, too.”
When the waiter left, she fiddled with her knife. Jake reached across the table and covered her hand with his. She stilled.
“Thanks for listening. Please. Try and forgive me.”
He must have read her mind. She could tell that his asking for forgiveness was difficult. He was such a masculine guy, and he’d pretty much bared his soul. His feelings. He loved her. She looked into his tender gaze and wanted to swim there forever, but how could she settle for less than perfect? Finally, she repeated what she’d earlier told him. “I don’t know if I can.”
At his crestfallen expression, she quickly added, “I’m sorry. I forgive you as a sister in the church, but as a girlfriend, I don’t know if I can. I still resent Jessie. I’m angry you chose her over me. I don’t know if I can forgive you for those months of…being with someone else.” Her lips trembled, and she said, “I’m even angry over the way you and Lil manipulated me.”
“You haven’t forgiven her?”
“Actually, I did. We’re closer now than ever.”
He licked his lips and frowned. “I understand your frustration, because I’m just as jealous over your dates with David.”
The ice cream arrived, and he released her hand. When the waiter
left, he said, “I’m sorry I hurt you. I’ll never hurt you again. Just think about it.”
How could he promise such a thing? She nodded, unable to speak. “It isn’t midnight yet, and I don’t want to spoil our dessert. Let’s talk about something else. Addison sure is a cute little thing.”
“Much sweeter than her brother, Tyler.”
“Girls always are sweeter,” he teased, and soon he had her feeling at ease again. When she relaxed, she could almost imagine she was sixteen and nothing had ever changed between them.
When he dropped her off at the doddy house, he walked her to the porch. “Thanks for a wonderful evening, Cinderella.” His finger grazed her chin, and drawn like a moth to light, she turned her face upward. He lingered. “See you at the next builders’ meeting.”
She replied softly, “That’s