Star Wars_ The New Jedi Order_ Rebel Dreams_ Enemy Lines I - Aaron Allston [84]
Her thoughts were still not settled minutes later as she went through her X-wing checklist.
All around her, starfighters and larger spacecraft in the special operations docking bay roared, whined, or rumbled into life, the sounds and vibrations cutting through her despite the insulation provided by X-wing hull and flight suit. Normally she found it comfortably familiar, even soothing, as if everyone affected by the noise and vibration were united by them into a single mind with a single objective, but just now it was distracting, intrusive. She couldn’t focus.
The Millennium Falcon was in sight off to her port, and she could see her mother and father in its cockpit. Leia caught sight of her look and waved, smiling. Jaina waved back, absently, and forced a smile.
The starfighters of Jaina’s own squadron were arrayed around her, with Kyp and Jag situated nearest. She could see Kyp going through his own checklist, gaze flicking back and forth across the controls. Jag was already done with his, leaning back in his pilot’s couch, anonymous TIE fighter helmet on, his posture relaxed.
Some of these people loved her. Others at least respected her. They would be hurt when she followed her brothers into death, but she had a handle on that, putting them all increasingly at arm’s length so the sting would be less when she was lost to them.
She could help things further along. Kyp had suggested some time ago that she become his apprentice. If she accepted, it would probably sting Mara a bit, but then Mara would be able to withdraw from her life and perhaps wouldn’t feel the greater sting when Jaina died. And if she became Kyp’s apprentice, she could insist that he maintain the distance suitable to a Master-apprentice relationship and stop expressing his personal interest in her.
That left only Jag. She didn’t know what he might have meant to her had things been different. She suspected that pursuing this question was one of the reasons behind his joining her squadron. But he was disciplined enough, too accustomed to loss to be drastically affected if Jaina died. He’d be all right.
She settled back, a trifle calmer. She had a plan for all the people she could currently affect. When the numbers caught up to her, all these people would be able to endure her loss a little better, a little more easily.
Her comlink clicked. It was Kyp, a direct, pilot-to-pilot transmission routed through their respective astromechs. “You all right? ” he asked.
“Just using a calming technique.”
“I don’t think it’s working. I can feel you from over here. You’re in turmoil.”
“No, I’m not. It just seems that way.” To cut the conversation short, she clicked over to squadron frequency. “Twin Suns Leader to squadron. I have four engines at full power, ready to scramble.”
“Two, four lit and waiting for a target.”
“Twin Suns Three, ready.”
“Four, starboard upper showing its usual power flux, but ready to dance …”
A minute later, the go-code flashed across her board. Twin Suns was first out of the special ops docking bay, its starfighters surrounding one of the kludged, right-angle-shaped craft the defenders of Borleias referred to as pipefighters. They set up on the killing field and waited for the other squadrons to deploy.
Next were the Rogues, reduced in number by the absence of Nevil and Corran, with their pipefighter, and the Wild Knights, guarding theirs. Fourth was Blackmoon Squadron, the renamed E-wing squad that had previously protected Pyria VI’s moon, under the command of Captain Yakown Reth; they escorted the triangle-shaped pipefighter that was the centerpiece of the Operation Starlancer experiments. Finally, the Millennium Falcon, its two Rogue Squadron escort X-wings, and a larger freighter lumbered out of the docking bay, practically emptying it.
Jaina switched her comlink over to fleet frequency. “This is Twin Suns Leader to Control. Test-fire