Stink and the Great Guinea Pig Express - Megan Mcdonald [2]
“Wow, you’re like a guinea pig superhero,” said Webster.
“Fantastic Fur Friend to the rescue!” said Stink.
“I wish I could make some of these guinea pigs disappear. Saving them is one thing. Finding one hundred and one good homes is another.” Mrs. B. pulled some straw from her hair.
“We’ll help,” said Stink.
“We can ring doorbells around the neighborhood,” said Webster.
“Ding-dong, guinea pigs calling,” said Sophie of the Elves.
“That sounds great,” Mrs. B. said. “For now, I’ll have to keep them in the old camper out back. There’s no room in here, and Mona Lisa the mynah bird is driving them crazy with her guinea pig imitations.”
“Wee, wee, wee, wee, wee!” squawked Mona Lisa.
“Wee, wee, wee, wee, wee!” the guinea pigs squeaked back.
The minute Stink got home, he told Judy about the 101 guinea pigs. “How many do you think Mom and Dad will let me keep?”
“Zero,” said Judy. “As in one hundred and none.”
“Not even one?” Stink asked. “There’s this one guy with blue eyes and spiky black hair and —”
“Hel-lo!” Judy said. “Did you forget about Mouse? Do you really think a guinea pig is going to like living with a cat?”
Stink did not want to listen. He went to find Mom anyway.
“A guinea pig?” said Mom. “You already have a furry pet.”
Stink went to try Dad.
“A guinea pig?” said Dad. “What is it with you kids and guinea pigs? And what about Toady?”
“Have you ever tried to cuddle a toad?” Stink asked.
But it was no use. Astro had just become Astro-NOT.
Stink and his friends knocked on doors all over Webster’s neighborhood. “How would you like to adopt a guinea pig?” Stink asked at one house, holding up a box full of wiggly piggies.
“No, thanks. We already have three dogs.”
They knocked on another door. “They’re really cute,” said Sophie, holding one up.
“They’re really, really cute!” said Webster.
“My son has allergies. Animals with fur make him sneeze.”
They knocked on another door. “Come back when you’re selling Girl Scout cookies!”
And yet another. “What is it?” one lady asked.
“A guinea pig,” said Stink.
“I can’t have pigs in the house,” the lady said.
“Not an oink-oink pig,” said Stink.
“A furry pet,” said Webster. “Like a hamster.”
“Actually, guinea pigs are rodents,” said Stink, holding one up. The guinea pig wiggled his way right out of Stink’s grasp and dropped onto the floor of the lady’s house.
“A rodent! Get that rat out of my house!” The lady chased the speedy guinea pig around her living room with a broom. Finally, she swept it out the door and Stink scooped it up.
“Phew, that was a close one,” he said to the guinea pig.
At the next house, Stink said, “Hi, I’m Stink Moody, and —”
“Did you say your name is Moody?” asked the old guy at the door. “Didn’t I read about you in the paper? Aren’t you the one with the cat that makes toast?”
“That’s my sister,” said Stink.
“Do these little critters make toast, too? I’d like to see that.”
“I don’t think so,” said Stink.
“No toast, eh? Thanks anyway,” the man said, shaking his head.
“Let’s try that apartment building,” said Webster. They rang a bell on the first floor.
“Guinea pigs, huh? You got any more? I’ll take fifty,” said the guy at the door. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and had a blue tattoo of a cobra on his arm.
“Really? You will? That’s great! Are you sure?” said Stink.
“Sure, I’m sure,” said the man, grinning under his hairy mustache.
Just then, Sophie nudged her friends and pointed to a van in the parking lot. Across the top it said SQUAMATA SERPENTES. SAM THE SNAKE MAN. SNAKES OF ALL SIZES FOR YOUR CLASSROOM OR PARTY.
“Hey, wait a minute,” said Webster. “You’re that guy who came to school to talk about —”
“Snakes!” said Stink. “And their habits, like what they eat. Um, sorry, mister, we gotta go.”
“Yeah, I think maybe my house is on fire!” said Webster, sniffing the air.
“Good save,” said Sophie as they hurried away from the building.
“That guy gave me the creeps,” said Webster.