Stink and the Great Guinea Pig Express - Megan Mcdonald [3]
“He gave me the squirmy-wormies,” said Sophie. “His van should say Squirm-ata Serpentes.” Stink and Webster cracked up.
The three friends sat down on the curb. “We knocked on fifty million doors and didn’t find a good home for one single fur ball,” said Sophie.
“Think,” said Stink. “Where would we find a lot of people in one place?”
“Church!” said Webster.
“Guinea pigs can’t go to church,” said Stink. “I mean a place people go if they love animals.”
Webster snapped his fingers. “I got it! The pet cemetery!”
“Live animals, Webster. We want to make people happy, not sad.”
“How about the dog park? People there love animals.”
“Yeah, and dogs love guinea pigs. Pretty soon all the guinea pigs would be in the pet cemetery.”
Stink thought and thought. Finally, he said, “Time for Operation Guinea Pig!”
“Uh-oh,” said Sophie.
“Uh-oh,” said Webster.
On Saturday morning, Judy asked, “Stink, where are you going?”
“For your information, I have a job.”
“A job? Snore pie with yawn sauce!” said Judy.
“For your information, my job is way NOT-boring.”
“Is it smelly? You got a job smelling with that nose of yours?”
“For your information, it is a little smelly. It’s at Fur & Fangs, in the G.P. department.”
“The Giant Pest department?” Judy asked.
“For your information, it’s in the Guinea Pig Department.”
“Why are you so . . . green?”
“For your information, I’m wearing all green because it’s a guinea pig’s favorite color.”
“For my information, how much money do you make?”
“None,” said Stink.
“Wait. You mean my little brother, Stink ‘Make-Money’ Moody, took a smelly job at the pest store for no money? What for?”
“For fun,” said Stink. “Mrs. B. has an old camper behind Fur & Fangs. Webster, Sophie, and I are going to fix it up and turn it into a guinea pig hotel on wheels.”
“Like the bookmobile at the library?” Judy asked.
“Yeah, only it’ll be the Piggymobile. We’ll park it in front of the shopping center where there are tons of people and try to get them to adopt guinea pigs. Except for maybe Astro.”
“Rare!” said Judy. “A mini guinea pig zoo.”
“The Guinea Pig Express!” said Stink.
Stink met Sophie and Webster at Fur & Fangs.
“I brought bungee cords,” said Webster.
“I brought goose tape,” said Sophie.
“I brought buckets, sponges, and a three-week supply of jawbreakers,” said Stink. “In case we get hungry.”
Out back, they unloaded every last guinea pig cage. Then they soaped and scrubbed the camper, inside and out, top to bottom. “Car wash!” yelled Webster, squirting Sophie with the hose.
“Not my glasses!” said Sophie.
“You need windshield wipers!” said Stink.
Inside the camper, Sophie stuffed the cupboards with supplies. Webster filled bins with pine shavings and grass hay. Stink poured pellets into trash cans.
They lined each cage with pine shavings, then added food dishes and water bottles with sippy tubes. Stink collected rocks for climbing over, while Sophie and Webster made fun hiding places.
Mrs. B. helped stack cages along one wall inside the camper. There were cages on the counter and one in the sink. There were two under the table and three in the loft. There was even a stack in the shower.
When all the cages were stacked and bungee-corded into place, the kids plopped down in the booth, tired and hungry. Stink pulled out a fistful of jawbreakers.
“I can’t believe we fit thirty-three cages in here,” said Stink.
“It’s a traveling guinea pig palace,” said Sophie.
“A piggy parade,” said Webster.
“Squeals on Wheels!” yelled Stink.
The following Saturday, the three friends painted the camper. Sophie painted suns and rainbows and guinea pigs riding unicorns. Webster painted moons and planets and guinea pigs riding rocket ships.
Stink painted eyes — giant blue guinea pig eyes like Astro’s — just above the headlights on the front of the RV. And a pink nose and whiskers and a sticky-out tuft of hair above the nose.
“Awesome!” said Webster.
“Fur-eeky!” said Sophie.
The kids wrote SQUEALS ON WHEELS in big letters across the side of the camper. On the back was a bumper sticker that read: