Stolen Innocence - Lisa Pulitzer [142]
I wasn’t even thinking about Allen as I packed my overnight bag an hour before hitting the road. I was worried about what I would tell Mom if she called. I knew she would be in touch to see what I was up to and where I would be sleeping that night, and I wasn’t certain I could bring myself to lie to her. Suddenly my phone rang. It was Lamont. “Hey, I think I’m gonna join you guys in Vegas,” he declared.
At first I didn’t know what to say. “You won’t get in trouble?” I asked, concerned yet excited at the prospect of having him join us.
“No, I’ll be okay,” Lamont assured. “I really want to see Meg and Jason.”
I knew how much Lamont liked Jason. They had been friends for many years, and it had been hard on him since he and Meg had left town. I eagerly steered my truck south along I-15 en route to Nevada. It was the same road that I’d taken to my marriage ceremony, only this time, instead of feeling petrified, I was exhilarated. As I watched the landscape rush by me, I giggled aloud, thinking of how much I’d changed since then. Back when I got married, I never would have taken a risk like this. Not only was I making a spontaneous decision, my decision was extremely taboo.
My hotel room was right next door to Meg and Jason’s, and Lamont’s was down the hall. The minute I arrived in Vegas, I traded my ankle-length skirt and ugly blouse in favor of a pair of brown slacks and a cute pink T-shirt. Ever since my trip to Oregon, I felt more comfortable being in public with “normal” people when I wasn’t in those FLDS-approved garments, and with my long hair swept back in a simple ponytail, I was ready to enjoy the weekend.
During the day, we walked up and down the strip, popping in and out of shops and stopping to enjoy cheap eats at lively, casual restaurants. We even rode the loopy roller-coaster at the New York-New York Hotel and Casino. At first I was afraid to ride it, but grabbing Lamont’s outstretched hand, I decided to take a chance. We rose toward the sky, taking in the incredible view before we plummeted at breakneck speed down the 144-foot drop. Lamont was laughing and the warm Vegas sun reflected in his blue eyes. As the speed picked up, the ride felt reckless and dangerous, but it also made me feel free.
On solid ground, I turned to Lamont, consumed by my first real taste of romantic love. A fluttery sensation took root in my stomach, and all at once I was giddy in a way that I never had been before. I had spent much of the weekend watching Meg and Jason fawn over each other. Seeing them together, I came to realize the difference between real love and the emotion that Allen professed to feel for me, but it also made me understand the true weight of my feelings for Lamont. I had always known what it was to love my family, but the passion I felt for Lamont was something entirely different. It was invigorating but perilous, and it did not take long for guilt and a sense of wickedness to grab hold of me.
That night we ate dinner at the Stratosphere Hotel in a restaurant situated eight hundred feet off the ground. There were views of all Las Vegas, and taking in the expansive scene, I appreciated how far I was from Hildale in every way. Somewhere out in the distance my mom, Sherrie, and Ally were sitting down for dinner. Allen was probably returning home to find the trailer empty again. Meanwhile I was suspended in midair, hanging above the bright lights of Vegas and looking out at my future.
While we were eating dinner that evening, a photographer for the restaurant came around and offered to take a souvenir photo for us at the top of the Stratosphere. Our small group huddled together with our arms over one another’s shoulders in a friendly embrace. Lamont stood next to me with his arm around me. It was an innocent gesture for an innocent moment, and the photo perfectly summed up our weekend