Stolen Innocence - Lisa Pulitzer [54]
I was in the room when they arrived, handcuffed my twelve-year-old brother, and put him in the patrol car. I screamed at them to leave him alone, but they drove off in the direction of the town meeting hall. Uncle Fred was there attending one of the Friday-night socials he oversaw. My brother was dragged before the entire gathering by the police and placed before Uncle Fred. Outwardly annoyed that the officers had humiliated him by alerting the community to a private family issue, Fred instructed the officers to take Caleb home, where he would be dealt with later.
Incidents like this gave me the sinking feeling that Caleb would not last at the Jessop house for much longer. He had also started attending Uncle Fred’s private school that year and was not adjusting well. I could see that without his brothers, he felt completely alone, forced to cope with his questions about the church and its teachings on his own. Many of the older boys in Fred’s house took it upon themselves to try to keep him in line. He refused to be broken, and sure enough, about six months after Brad’s departure, Mom frantically woke me up in the middle of the night, saying, “I think I heard something downstairs. I think Caleb is leaving.”
“What?” I asked groggily, wiping the sleep from my eyes. “Caleb’s going where?”
“I think he’s trying to leave the house. You have to go and stop him.”
Instantly I leapt out of bed and ran downstairs. I had been left behind by all of my older brothers, but I couldn’t stand to lose a younger one. He was the only brother remaining in my life whom I was allowed to speak to. My heart pounded in my chest as I got to his room to find it empty. I sprinted outside, arriving at the driveway only to see a car speeding away from the house. Something in me knew it was Brad. He had come to rescue Caleb, but they had forgotten me.
In the darkness of the chilly night, I took off behind them, chasing after the car on foot until I couldn’t run anymore. Exhausted, I put my hands on my knees and stood there gasping for air. As I slowly returned to the house, my heart sank in my chest. I had drawn strength from my recent closeness with Brad and Caleb. Although Brad and Caleb were both young, I’d still felt a certain sense of protection with them in the house. They were my brothers and they cared about me. They helped me through things. I had become so isolated from the other family members that without their companionship, I couldn’t imagine how I could continue. I was all alone to help Mom with Sherrie and Ally.
Losing her two remaining sons proved incredibly difficult for Mom. Devastated, she talked to them both on the phone and pleaded with them to return. She told them that she needed them and that they’d abandoned her. But they felt abandoned too, and they begged her to come back to Salt Lake and take care of them. When she said she couldn’t, they accused her of choosing her religion over them. Her heart was torn in two, but the reality was apparent: her faith required that she choose the prophet and religion over everything else. It didn’t matter how much she loved us, missed us, or wanted us by her side. She could not forsake her duty to the prophet and priesthood.
I couldn’t understand how my mother could make such a choice. For me, it seemed clear that she should be with Dad and her children. In many ways the situation with Brad and Caleb mirrored what had happened with Justin and Jacob, and I was still upset with her for having left them in Salt Lake City with my father. But as time went on and I experienced the truth of life at Uncle Fred