Stolen Innocence - Lisa Pulitzer [55]
As it turned out, things weren’t much easier for Justin and Jacob in Salt Lake. The crushing pain Dad suffered after having his family taken from him and given to another man had almost destroyed him. But instead of reaching out to the twins and trying to heal their pain together, it seemed like he became immersed in trying to understand why Warren and Uncle Rulon had removed us and in taking the steps they deemed necessary in order to repent.
Justin and Jacob still didn’t have the father we had grown up with, and they were sent again into reform, this time beginning in Idaho which was harder than before. For months they bounced around from one reform home to another, and in each they were subjected to harsh work and terrible living conditions and forced to fend for themselves. They were subjected to this to deepen their faith, but it only made them more resentful toward the priesthood. When it was clear that they would not conform, they were sent back to Dad’s house in Salt Lake.
Upon their return, the tension with Dad continued, and it didn’t take long for similar divides to open up between Dad, Brad, and Caleb. While I imagined all of them happy with Dad at home, they too struggled to put pieces of the family together and survive in a shattered household. Since Dad and Brad had left issues unresolved between them before our parting, their relationship remained strained. Being back at home in Salt Lake reopened the wounds of the past and ultimately resulted in Brad entering foster care. Much of the problem stemmed from the emotional toll that the last few years had taken on Dad. He must have been overwhelmed. Just a few days after we had been commanded to leave him, Mother Laura was removed from his home as well. She was nine months pregnant at the time and immediately became the fourth wife of Fred Lindsay of Hildale, giving birth to Dad’s son a few days following the wedding. Sadly, Dad’s new son would never have the chance to know his biological father. According to priesthood law, Laura and her sons now belonged to Fred Lindsay.
With Laura’s children as with us, Dad had no visitation rights. While rights could be awarded by the courts, the FLDS typically hold the courts and the laws of men in contempt. Going to court to address problems is seen as a clear betrayal of the priesthood, and court orders are routinely disobeyed. Like Sharon and Laura, Mother Audrey had also been directed to leave, but she bravely refused and remained in the home by my father’s side.
Robbed of almost all my familial support, I receded even further into myself, taking refuge in my time with Kassandra, which thanks to Warren’s mandates for Rulon’s wives became less and less frequent. The weeks and months passed slowly until one day more than a year after my arrival at the Jessop house, when everything ground to a sudden halt. That was the day that changed everything for me—the day when Fred Jessop announced to the house that the prophet had a revelation that centered on me—a revelation about marriage.
In retrospect, I can see that Uncle Fred had been dropping hints for some time, but I was fourteen. I hadn’t understood the true implication of his words and brushed them off as simple signs of encouragement. It had started in the early spring of 2001, while Mom was in Canada visiting two of my sisters. She’d hitched a ride with another church member heading to the community up there, leaving me on my own to cook Friday’s lunch. Because of the amount of work it took to prepare a meal for fifty family members, I’d gotten up extra early to start cooking. People of the FLDS commonly believe that God is an early riser, so we had breakfast at 5:30 A.M, and all of our meals were scheduled for a specific time each day. It was best to get to each meal for the blessing and in line early for the food so that you could eat before the tables were cleared and the dishes had to be done.
When the hour for lunch rolled around, I enthusiastically announced over the intercom that