Stolen Innocence - Lisa Pulitzer [77]
Outside Uncle Fred’s house, a horse-drawn carriage was waiting to take the newlywed couples for a ride around town. It belonged to a local FLDS member who had come up to Uncle Fred’s for the afternoon to commemorate our wedding day. Without the strength to resist, I took Allen’s outstretched hand and climbed aboard for the ride.
As soon as we returned to Fred’s house, I stepped off and walked inside to avoid continued pressure to pose for more photos. My face was red and swollen from crying, and I refused to honor the repeated pleas to kiss Allen for the camera.
After the carriage ride and photos, we went to Allen’s parents’ home, where his entire family had assembled to welcome us. I smiled politely as Allen’s mother greeted me with a bouquet of lilacs. One by one, I met his family, who all did their best to make me feel comfortable. Allen’s mother had a small business sewing nightgowns and other sleepwear. Ironically, she’d sewn my bridal trousseau, a white satin gown and pink satin robe with delicate flowers on it. They had been a gift from my mother, who’d had them made to order by Allen’s mom before she even knew I was going to marry him.
That night, Uncle Fred had us to his home for dinner, which was followed by ice cream and cake. Still, I had no idea where we would be living; no announcement had been made.
At points during the evening, I was overcome by the excitement of the celebration, but inevitably, something would snap me back to the hard truth of my situation. I wanted so badly to be happy and enjoy this moment, but something inside just wouldn’t let me. Later that evening I was pleasantly surprised when my friend Natalie stopped by to wish me well. Though we no longer attended the same school, I’d been spending a lot of time with her. We had grown quite close, and she was one of the few people outside of Uncle Fred’s home whom I could trust and talk to. The morning of the wedding, Natalie’s mother, Lavonda, had done my hair. Strangely, Natalie had been silent. I could see that it worried her to watch me prepare for my wedding. I’d been feeling self-conscious around her ever since I’d learned of my impending nuptials, and I noticed awkwardness on her part as well. She seemed to be afraid that being around me would call attention to her and bring her the same fate.
Now, here she was at Uncle Fred’s house accompanied by several of her sisters to perform a song in honor of my wedding. The girls had beautiful voices and had produced some music CDs for the community. I was so touched that they would honor me with this lovely performance that I didn’t think about what would happen when they left. Watching their eyes glow and hearing their voices glide over the notes, it never occurred to me that the day’s events would change my life and friendship with Natalie. I was no longer a single fourteen-year-old like her. I was officially different; I was married. While she still had the freedom to act like a child, the standards for me had changed overnight. The sad truth was that after that day we no longer spent time together as close friends.
When everyone left Fred’s home that evening, a horrible sense of abandonment crept up on me. One minute we were all celebrating, and the next everyone was saying goodbye. Right after prayer service that night, Uncle Fred excitedly led our procession up the stairs to our “new” bedroom, which was the same room that I had been sleeping in since I arrived at his home. He informed Allen and me that we were going to live in his home until the church assigned us a place of our own. The news that I would be close to my mother came as a relief. In anticipation of our arrival, he’d instructed some of the mothers to prepare the upstairs bedroom I’d been sharing with my two sisters