Straight Life - Art Pepper [105]
And it can only lead to eventual suicide-if a person has the nerve - or life in the penitentiary, or getting shot during a holdup or something. It'll eventually come to that.
JT: Do you think there is any way to head off an individual who may be on the way to drug addiction, or must he solve his problem by himself?
(In answer to this particular query, Art Pepper felt that the extreme importance of the question required additional consideration by him so that he might give a clearer, more adequate reply. He submitted the following answer in writing:)
"I think it's up to the individual. It's like telling children not to do something-they'll do it every time until they finally decide that they themselves don't want to do it anymore. An addict is a sick person and should be treated as such. I think the work in the U.S.P.H.S. hospitals at Ft. Worth and Lexington is doing a great deal of good for those who sincerely want to stop and straighten themselves out. My doctor at Ft. Worth gave me some invaluable assistance which is now beginning to take effect.
"The percentage of addicts who have stopped is around 1 or 2 percent, which is far from a happy situation, but I think I have an explanation for this. The small percentage is a good excuse for not stopping-a person may say, 'Well, I guess I shouldn't feel so bad about not stopping because nobody else can either.' It's a warped justification for being weak.
'Actually, it's really not too difficult to stop if you've finally made up your mind to do it-of course, you've got to want to more than anything else in the world. I lost a wife, whom I loved very deeply, a wonderful child, a home, etc., but it still wasn't enough to make me stop.
"It can't be for any one person or anything that you stop-it's got to be for yourself. It's only for yourself that you can quit, believe me-and with God's help I think I'm now well on the road to recovery and a full and reasonably happy and moderate life." down beat, September 19, 1956. Copyright 1956 by down beat. Reprinted by special permission.
DIANE was still working as a waitress in jazz clubs, and I was recording and playing with Jack Montrose at the Angel Room in the Crenshaw area. So I was doing well, but I was goofing, and I was really getting strung out.
The Chicanos dug me. I used to play at the Diggers and at the Coral Room, clubs in East L.A. They liked my music, and they liked me because I was a regular, one of the few musicians that went to jail and did time without informing on anybody. They envied me my talent and the opportunities I had, and they couldn't understand why I would want to put myself in their position. They said if they had what I did they would never, ever do what they were doing, dealing and robbing. They only did these things because they never had a chance to do anything else.
One night a heavyset Chicano came into the Angel Room. He was a real gangster type. He introduced himself; his name was Mario Cuevas; and he was a big dealer. He liked me. He liked the way I played. So I hit on him if he had anything; he said yeah and he laid something on me. A condom. It must have had about a quarter of an ounce of stuff in it, which is a lot. He gave it to me.
The next time Mario came by he said, "Why don't you straighten up? If you like, I'll get you some Dolophine." Which is pills (Methadone) you kick with. I said, "Wow, I'd sure love to." I knew all the time I wasn't going to do it. Mario got me the Dolophines, and I cut down with them, used them when I was sick, but I didn't kick. He came around again and he said, "What happened?" I said, "Oh, man, you know." And he said, "Well, you just want to continue this rat race." He laid some more stuff on me, and I started buying from him. He said, "I'd rather give it to you myself than have you go out in the street, taking a chance of getting rousted or picked up, busted. And at least with me you're getting decent stuff."