Straight Life - Art Pepper [232]
We left this restaurant, and now I was walking with her instead of the redhead. We got back to the club and the blonde said, "Why don't we go down to the beach?" The redhead and the other girl both had things they had to do, so this girl turned to me and said, "How about you, Art? Would you like to go?" I had my bathing suit down in the men's locker room so I said, "Okay, I'll put on my suit." She said, "I've got mine underneath my clothes."
Synanon had a private beach, and there weren't many peo ple out at the time. We met. She had a bikini on. She had a beautiful stomach, beautiful legs, and nice feet, and she had blonde hairs on her legs. She already had a little tan. We laid down on the sand and started talking. I told her how hard it was to stay in Synanon when you didn't have any contact with a female. She said, "I know what you mean." I said, "Who do you go with?" She said, "No one. I really understand what you mean. It's murder." I looked at her and thought, "Well, what the hell. She's clean." And I liked the parts of her body I could see, and she had sexy eyes. I said, "I believe that anybody can be compatible if they want to be. How would you like to get together with me?" She said, "Do you really mean it?" I said, "Yeah." She said, "I'd love to!" The next day I went to Bob Holmes and he said, "She's fine if you have eyes, but make sure. If it's the wrong chick you'll pay a lot of dues to get out of it.'
The next time I saw her in the club I asked her if she wanted some coffee. I had observed her a few times walking around and-when I really got into it-if I could have balled her that Sunday it would have been nice, but to have to go through all the "courtship" and then the "relationship" and the games with her ... We just didn't mesh. I realized I'd made a mistake and something had to be done. I found out who her tribe leader was, a woman, and went to this woman and told her the story: "What do you think I should do?" She said, "I'm glad you found out now. That girl is very together. Just tell her outright you don't really care for her that much." That afternoon I had coffee with her again, and before I started speaking I could tell she knew what was happening. A very perceptive girl. I started mumbling something and she said, "You don't really have eyes anymore. It's good you told me now. I'm disappointed, but I'll get over it." She walked away from the table, and I saw she had tears in her eyes, and I thought, "Oh, man, what a scene this is! This is ridiculous!"
Things kept going wrong. A woman who'd been in Synanon nine years hit on me, but Bob wouldn't give his permission. She went to Chuck, but he wouldn't give his permission either, and I was really relieved because I didn't like her that much. A friend of mine who was a lesbian offered to get in a relationship with me, and I thought about it seriously, but I just couldn't do it. I went out with some nonresident women to a concert, and one of them drove me home and gave me head in the car, and that was great, but I still didn't have an old lady. I was raving in games that I couldn't get this one and I couldn't get that one because of this or that and they beat me up in the games saying, "Why don't you relax?"
Finally, I was in the club one day, walking up the stairs, and I looked ahead of me and there was this girl. She was real thin, with black hair cut short, and she had a nice tan. She