Stupid White Men-- and Other Sorry Excuses for the State of the Nation! - Michael Moore [36]
Open an on-site day care center for employees with children ages two to five.
Now, I can hear your first reaction already. “No way I’m having a bunch of little brats running around here—THIS IS A PLACE OF BUSINESS!” I understand. Those little ones can cause quite a distraction, especially when you’re trying to close a big deal with that German bank and little LaToya speeds by, dragging Kasheem around by the hair like a stuffed animal.
But here’s a greater distraction to consider: if your employees are spending all their time at work worrying about their kids, they won’t be as productive as they should be. Parents will always worry about their children before their jobs. That’s just human nature. And single parents? They’ve got no help. When somebody needs to cut out of work to go pick up their sick kid at the babysitter’s, or needs to split the second the clock strikes five because the day care center charges a penalty for late pickups, they’ve got no choice but to drop what they’re doing.
Imagine if your workers didn’t have to spend time on the job worrying about the kids, and instead focused 100 percent on making you money? If they no longer had to miss work just because the babysitter flaked out, and got to spend all day long making you money?
A day care center on the premises doesn’t cost that much and most parents would be willing to share that cost with you if it meant a reprieve from worrying about the kids. Think of how relaxed it would make your workers, knowing that their children were safe and secure—and nearby! Man, they’ll be working their butts off!
Translation: More dough for YOU!
Provide good health care insurance for everyone, and give workers enough paid sick days.
Do I even need to explain this one? How much efficiency is sacrificed every year by employees who come to work sick because they can’t afford to go to the doctor or avoid doing so until they’re near collapse? With no other choice, they bring their viruses to work—and infect everyone in their path. It’s far more profitable to pay for health insurance for your workers, so they can get better quick and start busting their humps for you again—at full speed. A healthy workforce is a productive workforce. With health insurance, it’s one afternoon off work to see the doctor, a speedy diagnosis and prescription, and—look!—back to work in a couple of days, instead of lingering at home for a week or two waiting for the condition to clear up.
The good news is, all of the above is in the interest of your own bottom line—no bleeding-heart, bleeding-money liberalism required. You can stay as regressive and greedy as you want—I don’t care. If it means life will get better for some of the millions of African-Americans who work hard for little pay, scanty benefits, and no security, then I’ll be happy.
3. Don’t buy a handgun.
What sense does it make to have a gun in the house? If it’s for hunting, then it’s simple: keep your rifle or shotgun unloaded and locked up in the attic until hunting season.
If you’re thinking of buying a handgun for protection, on the other hand, let me give you a few statistics. A member of your family is twenty-two times more likely to die from gunfire if you have a gun in your house than if you don’t.
The idea that having a gun is the only way to ensure “home protection” is a myth. Fewer than 1 out of 4 violent crimes is committed while the victim is at home. Among all the instances when guns are fired during a break-in while the owner is at home, in only 2 percent are guns used to shoot