Supercoach - Michael Neill [27]
— Henry David Thoreau
In the last section, I shared one of my favorite ways of coaxing your true heart’s desires out of your spirit, into your head, and down onto a piece of paper. Now we’ll continue the process by refining your list in a way that will make it easy for you to take a high involvement/ low investment approach to their creation.
Here’s all you need to do:
1. Go through the list of creative possibilities for your life that you generated earlier in this session.
2. For each item on your list, ask yourself a simple question:
“Regardless of whether or not I think I can
actually have this, do I really want it?”
• If your answer is an unquestionable “yes,” circle or highlight it.
• If your answer is an unquestionable “no,” cross it off or delete it.
• If your answer is anything other than a no-brainer “yes” or a no-brainer “no,” leave it off for now. (I’ll explain more about why that is in our next session.)
3. Gather all your “yes” goals on a new list. You’re going to divide this list into two—a “fairy godmother” list and a project list.
— A “fairy godmother” list is made up of those things that you would love to be, do, or have in your life but you aren’t really sure if you’re up for creating them. However, if they fell into your lap; they came to you out of a clear blue sky; or your fairy godmother showed up, waved her magic wand, and “Hey, presto!” they were yours, you’d be all for them.
This is a powerful list to have because it keeps you in touch with your fondest dreams and warmest desires, even if the circumstances for their creation don’t seem to be slanted in your favor right now. Not only will you find that energy of desire to be a useful guide, but you’ll also notice that items on this list have a habit of showing up when you least expect them to.
— Your project list is made up of those things that you want to take responsibility for and make at least a part of your life about creating. Whether or not these projects actually come off as planned, you’ll feel good about having invested the time and energy into making them happen. This list will give you a way of organizing your efforts so you can get maximum reward for every action taken.
4. For each item on your “yes” list, ask yourself these questions:
• “Do I want to make part of my life over the next year about actively creating this?”
• “Do I want to invest my time and energy into making this happen?”
• “If this didn’t lead to the result I wanted, would I still be glad I took the time to work on it?”
If your answer is anything but an unquestionable “yes” to all three questions, put the item on your “fairy godmother” list; otherwise, it can go on your project list.
Goals and Projects
Many of my clients have goals related to reaching a certain level of success in their lives. But once they’ve set the bar for themselves, they immediately take the focus off what it is they’re trying to achieve and put it onto what is within their control—the process and projects through which they’re most likely to achieve it.
For a salesperson, that may involve making a certain number of calls or submitting a high enough volume of proposals; for a writer, it might be writing a specific number of pages or spending a certain amount of time in the act of writing.
One CEO I worked with decided that he wanted to create a more loving relationship with his wife. He was unclear about how he could turn that goal into a project until it occurred to him that she always commented on how loved she felt when he took the time to do something that made her life easier, particularly since she knew how busy his own life was. So he created a simple project for himself: to engage in one deliberate act of service to his wife every single day for a year. While he did miss a few days along the way, his relationship had transformed long before the year was up. Better still, his wife began to return the favor—and he hadn’t even told her about the project!
Here are a few distinctions that will help you make the shift from goal to project