Supercoach - Michael Neill [59]
• When you meet your own need for approval, you never have to fear rejection.
The next time you’re deciding on a course of action that involves at least one other person, try asking yourself the following question first:
If I already had all the love in the world,
how would I do this differently?
Have fun, learn heaps, and meet me in the next session when you’re ready!
SESSION NINE
The Secret to a Lifetime
of Financial Security
“[Security] does not exist in nature, nor do the children
of men as a whole experience it. . . . Avoiding danger
is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. . . .
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.”
— Helen Keller
The Rich Man and the Beggar
Many years ago, a man was sitting in quiet contemplation by a riverbank when he was disturbed by a beggar from the local village.
“Where is the stone?” the beggar demanded. “I must have the precious stone!”
The man smiled up at him. “What stone do you seek?”
“I had a dream,” the beggar answered, barely able to slow his words enough to speak, “and in that dream a voice told me that if I went to the riverbank, I would find a man who would give me a precious stone that would end my poverty forever!”
The man looked thoughtful, then reached into his bag and pulled out a large diamond.
“I wonder if this is the stone.” he said kindly. “I found it on the path. If you’d like it, you may certainly have it.”
The beggar couldn’t believe his luck, and he snatched the stone and ran back to the village before the man could change his mind.
One year later, the beggar, now dressed in the clothes of a wealthy man, came back to the riverbank in search of his anonymous benefactor.
“You have returned, my friend!” said the man, who was again sitting in his favorite spot enjoying the peaceful flow of the water before him. “What has happened?”
The beggar humbled himself before the man.
“Many wonderful things have happened to me because of the diamond you gave me so graciously. I have become wealthy, found a wife, and bought a home. I am now able to give employment to others and to do what I want, when I want, with whomever I want.”
“So why have you returned?” asked the man.
“Please,” the beggar said. “Teach me whatever it is inside you that allowed you to give me that stone so freely.”
The $600 Million Man
When I first began working with high-income/high-net-worth clients, I was surprised that money came up so frequently as an issue. Men and women with six-figure incomes and millions in the bank were dealing with the same kinds of fears and concerns around their finances as the people I knew with no money in the bank and no income to speak of.
I would often hear phrases like:
• “I don’t want to, but I need the money.”
• “With the economy the way it is, I don’t know how I’m ever going to be able to retire.”
• “I have to worry—otherwise I might lose it all!”
Apparently, having a high income or a huge bank balance had little or no impact on feeling secure about money. I actually found this quite disconcerting. I had somehow convinced myself that there was a magic number and that once my bank balance hit it, I would never have to worry about money again.
What finally completely divested me of that illusion was when one client whose net worth was nearly $600 million told me that he woke up every morning wondering if today was going to be the day he lost it all. It finally got through to me that if $600 million wasn’t enough to guarantee financial security, $600 billion wouldn’t be enough either (and neither would $600,000 or $100,000 or whatever other number had seemed to my brain at the time to be more money than I could possibly spend in a lifetime).
I remember making a little note to keep by my desk that read:
My well-being is not dependent on my bank balance.
This phenomenon quite clearly worked in both directions. At the same time that I was working with my insecure millionaires, I had other clients who had far less money in the bank but didn’t seem to worry about it at all.
As always, the