The 4-Hour Body_ An Uncommon Guide to Ra - Timothy Ferriss [97]
Fortunately, Peter’s experience led to a Buddhist-like search for meaning and a beautiful classic in nature writing. I doubted I could pull the same beauty out of Iron Penis Kung-Fu. My quest was all-or-nothing, and it needed a happy ending in all senses.
I had no choice but to narrow down the field, to find someone who’d already tried everything.
There was only one place to look.
Nina and 400 Hollywood Nights
Nina Hartley became a registered nurse in 1985 after graduating magna cum laude from San Francisco State University.
She also started stripping her sophomore year, which led to experimenting in adult films. It was not a college phase. Nina has since starred or featured in more than 650 porn films and is one of the most recognized and respected names in the business. Lexington Steele, the only person ever to win the AVN (the Oscars of porn) Male Performer of the Year Award three times (three times!), has publicly stated “without hesitation” that the single greatest sexual experience of his life was with Nina.
My friend Sylvester Norwood5 later told me the same thing.
But … WTF?
His confession confused me. Not because I doubted Nina had the skills. But how the hell did Sylvester enter the picture? The same well-behaved Jewish boy too shy to talk to girls?
[Shimmer and fade to reenactment] Straight out of Ripley’s Believe It or Not: Sylvester’s mom attended a group dinner in Berkeley, California, that Nina also happened to be attending, and the two ended up seated next to each other. Mrs. Norwood came home and said to then-22-year-old Sylvester, “Guess who I was at dinner with? A famous porn star: Nina Hartley. Have you ever heard of her?”
Sylvester nearly choked. In his secret double life, he had a huge collection of videos featuring Nina, his personal snow leopard.
“Mom, I have to meet her. If I never do anything again in this life, I MUST meet Nina Hartley.”
Three days of insistent begging and nagging later, Sylvester’s mom raised a hand and picked up the phone.
“Hi, Nina, it’s Mrs. Norwood. I had such a wonderful time meeting you at the party. Listen, I have a question for you. Do you ever make love to younger men?”
Nina’s answer: “Why, yes! I love breaking in younger men … but only once.”
And so it happened.
Summary: Coolest … mom … ever.
A decade later, Sylvester is still friends with Nina, and he introduced us via e-mail. The two-hour phone call that followed was a master’s degree in all things sexual, but the most actionable highlights related to (1) the single most important precondition for female orgasm and (2) technical modifications of positions.
THE PRECONDITION: WOMEN NEED TO STEP UP TO THE STARTING LINE FIRST
“No man can give you an orgasm. He can only help you do it yourself.”
This is why I used the word facilitate earlier. First and foremost, Nina emphasized, a woman has to be comfortable masturbating. “If she doesn’t masturbate regularly, she’ll be more trouble, baggage-wise, than it’s worth, unless you get off on being the fixer. She has to at least come up to the starting line and be comfortable conversing with her own orgasmic potential.” For years, Nina herself was too embarrassed to show her “O face”—her face during orgasm—to partners, thinking it was ugly or unattractive, not realizing that men go nuts for it. “The woman needs to know how beautiful and exciting she is in that state.”
Truer words never spoken.
To those women who don’t masturbate, Nina recommends starting in small increments, five minutes a night before bed or immediately after waking up, and listening to self-talk. What is your head telling you? Unwarranted guilt and shame? Both will pass with practice, and you must be comfortable solo before it’s possible with someone else.
Thirty minutes after the interview with Nina, I called Giselle.6 The verdict: