The Absentee [34]
popped him a douceur of a draught, at thirty-one days, on Garraghty, the agent; of which he must get notice; but I won't descant on the law before the ladies--he handed me over his debt and execution, and he made me prior creditor in a trice. Then I took coach in state, the first I met, and away with me to Long Acre--saw Mordicai. "Sir," says I, "I hear you're meditating an execution on a friend of mine." "Am I?" said the rascal; "who told you so?" "No matter," said I; "but I just called in to let you know there's no use in life of your execution; for there's a prior creditor with his execution to be satisfied first." So he made a great many black faces, and said a great deal, which I never listened to, but came off here clean to tell you all the story.'
'Not one word of which do I understand,' said Lady Clonbrony,
'Then, my dear, you are very ungrateful,' said Lord Clonbrony.
Lord Colambre said nothing, for he wished to learn more of Sir Terence O'Fay's character, of the state of his father's affairs, and of the family methods of proceeding in matters of business.
'Faith! Terry, I know I'm very thankful to you--but an execution's an ugly thing--and I hope there's no danger--'
'Never fear!' said Sir Terence: 'Haven't I been at my wits' ends for myself or my friends ever since I come to man's estate --to years of discretion, I should say, for the deuce a foot of estate have I! But use has sharpened my wits pretty well for your service; so never be in dread, my good lord for look ye!' cried the reckless knight, sticking his arms akimbo 'look ye here! in Sir Terence O'Fay stands a host that desires no better than to encounter, single witted, all the duns in the united kingdoms, Mordicai the Jew inclusive.'
'Ah! that's the devil, that Mordicai,' said Lord Clonbrony; 'that's the only man an earth I dread.'
'Why, he is only a coachmaker, is not he!' said Lady Clonbrony: 'I can't think how you can talk, my lord, of dreading such a low man. Tell him, if he's troublesome, we won't bespeak any more carriages; and, I'm sure, I wish you would not be so silly, my lord, to employ him any more, when you know he disappointed me the last birthday about the landau, which I have not got yet.'
'Nonsense, my dear,'said Lord Clonbrony; 'you don't know what you are talking of. Terry, I say, even a friendly execution is an ugly thing.'
'Phoo! phoo!--an ugly thing! So is a fit of the gout--but one's all the better for it after. 'Tis just a renewal of life, my lord, for which one must pay a bit of a fine, you know. Take patience, and leave me to manage all properly--you know I'm used to these things, Only you recollect, if you please, how I managed my friend Lord --; it's bad to be mentioning names--but Lord EVERYBODY-KNOWS-WHO--didn't I bring him through cleverly, when there was that rascally attempt to seize the family plate? I had notice, and what did I do, but broke open a partition between that lord's house and my lodgings, which I had taken next door; and so, when the sheriff's officers were searching below on the ground floor, I just shoved the plate easy through to my bedchamber at a moment's warning, and then bid the gentlemen walk in, for they couldn't set a foot in my paradise, the devils! So they stood looking at it through the wall, and cursing me and I holding both my sides with laughter at their fallen faces.'
Sir Terence and Lord Clonbrony laughed in concert.
'This is a good story,' said Miss Nugent, smiling; 'but surely, Sir Terence, such things are never done in real life?'
'Done! ay, are they; and I could tell you a hundred better strokes, my dear Miss Nugent.'
'Grace!' cried Lady Clonbrony, 'do pray have the goodness to seal and send these notes; for really,' whispered she, as her niece came to the table,'I CAWNT STEA, I cawnt bear that man's VICE, his accent grows horrider and horrider!'
Her ladyship rose, and left the room.
'Why, then,' continued Sir Terence, following up Miss Nugent to the table, where she was sealing letters, 'I must tell you how I sarved that
'Not one word of which do I understand,' said Lady Clonbrony,
'Then, my dear, you are very ungrateful,' said Lord Clonbrony.
Lord Colambre said nothing, for he wished to learn more of Sir Terence O'Fay's character, of the state of his father's affairs, and of the family methods of proceeding in matters of business.
'Faith! Terry, I know I'm very thankful to you--but an execution's an ugly thing--and I hope there's no danger--'
'Never fear!' said Sir Terence: 'Haven't I been at my wits' ends for myself or my friends ever since I come to man's estate --to years of discretion, I should say, for the deuce a foot of estate have I! But use has sharpened my wits pretty well for your service; so never be in dread, my good lord for look ye!' cried the reckless knight, sticking his arms akimbo 'look ye here! in Sir Terence O'Fay stands a host that desires no better than to encounter, single witted, all the duns in the united kingdoms, Mordicai the Jew inclusive.'
'Ah! that's the devil, that Mordicai,' said Lord Clonbrony; 'that's the only man an earth I dread.'
'Why, he is only a coachmaker, is not he!' said Lady Clonbrony: 'I can't think how you can talk, my lord, of dreading such a low man. Tell him, if he's troublesome, we won't bespeak any more carriages; and, I'm sure, I wish you would not be so silly, my lord, to employ him any more, when you know he disappointed me the last birthday about the landau, which I have not got yet.'
'Nonsense, my dear,'said Lord Clonbrony; 'you don't know what you are talking of. Terry, I say, even a friendly execution is an ugly thing.'
'Phoo! phoo!--an ugly thing! So is a fit of the gout--but one's all the better for it after. 'Tis just a renewal of life, my lord, for which one must pay a bit of a fine, you know. Take patience, and leave me to manage all properly--you know I'm used to these things, Only you recollect, if you please, how I managed my friend Lord --; it's bad to be mentioning names--but Lord EVERYBODY-KNOWS-WHO--didn't I bring him through cleverly, when there was that rascally attempt to seize the family plate? I had notice, and what did I do, but broke open a partition between that lord's house and my lodgings, which I had taken next door; and so, when the sheriff's officers were searching below on the ground floor, I just shoved the plate easy through to my bedchamber at a moment's warning, and then bid the gentlemen walk in, for they couldn't set a foot in my paradise, the devils! So they stood looking at it through the wall, and cursing me and I holding both my sides with laughter at their fallen faces.'
Sir Terence and Lord Clonbrony laughed in concert.
'This is a good story,' said Miss Nugent, smiling; 'but surely, Sir Terence, such things are never done in real life?'
'Done! ay, are they; and I could tell you a hundred better strokes, my dear Miss Nugent.'
'Grace!' cried Lady Clonbrony, 'do pray have the goodness to seal and send these notes; for really,' whispered she, as her niece came to the table,'I CAWNT STEA, I cawnt bear that man's VICE, his accent grows horrider and horrider!'
Her ladyship rose, and left the room.
'Why, then,' continued Sir Terence, following up Miss Nugent to the table, where she was sealing letters, 'I must tell you how I sarved that