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'Your rat pipe,' said Keith.

'No. It's magic, kid.'

'Then why are you scared to bet it?'

The piper narrowed his eyes. 'OK, then,' he said.

'And the town must let me solve its rat problem,' said Keith.

'And how much will you charge?' said the mayor.

'Thirty gold pieces! Thirty gold pieces. Go on, say it!' shouted a voice at the back of the crowd.

'No, I won't cost you a thing,' said Keith.

'Idiot!' shouted the voice in the crowd. People looked around, puzzled.

'Nothing at all?' said the mayor.

'No, nothing.'

'Er… the hand-in-marriage thing is still on offer, if you-'

'Father!'

'No, that only happens in stories,' said Keith. 'And I shall also bring back a lot of the food that the rats stole.'

'They ate it!' said the mayor. 'What're you going to do, stick your fingers down their throats?'

'I said that I'll solve your rat problem,' said Keith. 'Agreed, Mr Mayor?'

'Well, if you're not charging-'

'But first, I shall need to borrow a pipe,' Keith went on.

'You haven't got one?' said the mayor.

'It got broken.'

Corporal Knopf nudged the mayor. 'I've got a trombone from when I was in the army,' he said. 'It won't take a mo to nip and get it.'

The rat piper burst out laughing.

'Doesn't that count?' said the mayor, as Corporal Knopf hurried off.

'What? A trombone for charming rats? No, no, let him try. Can't blame a kid for trying. Good with a trombone, are you?'

'I don't know,' said Keith.

'What do you mean, you don't know?'

'I mean, I've never played one. I'd be a lot happier with a flute, trumpet, piccolo or Lancre bagpipe, but I've seen people playing the trombone and it doesn't look too difficult. It's only an overgrown trumpet, really.'

'Hah!' said the piper.

The watchman came running back, rubbing a battered trombone with his sleeve and therefore making it just a bit more grimy. Keith took it, wiped the mouthpiece, put it to his mouth, pressed the keys a few times and then blew one long note.

'Seems to work,' he said. 'I expect I can learn as I go along.' He gave the rat piper a brief smile. 'Do you want to go first?'

'You won't charm one rat with that mess, kid,' said the piper, 'but I'm glad I'm here to see you try.'

Keith gave him a smile again, took a breath, and played.

There was a tune there. The instrument squeaked and wheezed, because Corporal Knopf had occasionally used the thing as a hammer, but there was a tune, quite fast, almost jaunty. You could tap your feet to it.

Someone tapped his feet to it.

Sardines emerged from a crack in a nearby wall, going 'hwunftwothreefour' under his breath. The crowd him dance ferociously across the cobbles until he disappeared into a drain. Then they broke into applause.

The piper looked at Keith. 'Did that one have a hat on?' he said.

'I didn't notice,' said Keith. 'Your go.'

The piper pulled a short length of pipe from inside his jacket. He took another length from his pocket, and slotted it into place on the first piece. It went click, in a military kind of way.

Still watching Keith, and still grinning, the piper took a mouthpiece from his top pocket, and screwed it into the rest of the pipe with another, very final, click.

Then he put it to his mouth and played.

From her lookout on a roof Big Savings shouted down a drainpipe, 'Now!' Then she pushed two lumps of cotton-wool in her ears.

At the bottom of the pipe, Inbrine shouted into a drain, 'Now!' and then he too snatched up his earplugs.

… ow, ow, ow echoed through the pipes…

… 'Now!' shouted Darktan in the room of cages. He rammed some straw into the drainpipe. 'Everyone block their ears!'

They'd done their best with the rat cages. Malicia had brought blankets, and the rats had spent a feverish hour blocking up holes with mud. They'd done their best to feed the prisoners properly, too, and even though they were only keekees it was heartbreaking to see them cower so desperately.

Darktan turned to Nourishing. 'Got your ears blocked?' he said.

'Pardon?'

'Good!' Darktan picked up two lumps of cotton-wool. 'The silly-sounding girl better be right about this