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By Root 230 0

TOL-THE-ROL-LOO,

She would pickle deliciously cold -

And her four pretty Amazons, too,

Are enticing, and not very old -

Twenty-seven is not very old.



"There is neat little TITTY-FOL-LEH,

There is rollicking TRAL-THE-RAL-LAH,

There is jocular WAGGETY-WEH,

There is musical DOH-REH-MI-FAH -

There's the nightingale DOH-REH-MI-FAH!"



So the forces of BUNGALEE BOO

Marched forth in a terrible row,

And the ladies who fought for QUEEN LOO

Prepared to encounter the foe -

This dreadful, insatiate foe!



But they sharpened no weapons at all,

And they poisoned no arrows - not they!

They made ready to conquer or fall

In a totally different way -

An entirely different way.



With a crimson and pearly-white dye

They endeavoured to make themselves fair,

With black they encircled each eye,

And with yellow they painted their hair

(It was wool, but they thought it was hair).



And the forces they met in the field:-

And the men of KING BORRIA said,

"Amazonians, immediately yield!"

And their arrows they drew to the head -

Yes, drew them right up to the head.



But jocular WAGGETY-WEH

Ogled DOODLE-DUM-DEY (which was wrong),

And neat little TITTY-FOL-LEH

Said, "TOOTLE-TUM, you go along!

You naughty old dear, go along!"



And rollicking TRAL-THE-RAL-LAH

Tapped ALACK-A-DEY-AH with her fan;

And musical DOH-REH-MI-FAH

Said, "PISH, go away, you bad man!

Go away, you delightful young man!"



And the Amazons simpered and sighed,

And they ogled, and giggled, and flushed,

And they opened their pretty eyes wide,

And they chuckled, and flirted, and blushed

(At least, if they could, they'd have blushed).



But haughty PISH-TUSH-POOH-BAH

Said, "ALACK-A-DEY, what does this mean?"

And despairing ALACK-A-DEY-AH

Said, "They think us uncommonly green!

Ha! ha! most uncommonly green!"



Even blundering DOODLE-DUM-DEY

Was insensible quite to their leers,

And said good little TOOTLE-TUM-TEH,

"It's your blood we desire, pretty dears -

We have come for our dinners, my dears!"



And the Queen of the Amazons fell

To BORRIA BUNGALEE BOO, -

In a mouthful he gulped, with a yell,

TIPPY-WIPPITY TOL-THE-ROL-LOO -

The pretty QUEEN TOL-THE-ROL-LOO.



And neat little TITTY-FOL-LEH

Was eaten by PISH-POOH-BAH,

And light-hearted WAGGETY-WEH

By dismal ALACK-A-DEY-AH -

Despairing ALACK-A-DEY-AH.



And rollicking TRAL-THE-RAL-LAH

Was eaten by DOODLE-DUM-DEY,

And musical DOH-REH-MI-FAH

By good little TOOTLE-DUM-TEH -

Exemplary TOOTLE-TUM-TEH!







Ballad: The Periwinkle Girl







I've often thought that headstrong youths

Of decent education,

Determine all-important truths,

With strange precipitation.



The ever-ready victims they,

Of logical illusions,

And in a self-assertive way

They jump at strange conclusions.



Now take my case: Ere sorrow could

My ample forehead wrinkle,

I had determined that I should

Not care to be a winkle.



"A winkle," I would oft advance

With readiness provoking,

"Can seldom flirt, and never dance,

Or soothe his mind by smoking."



In short, I spurned the shelly joy,

And spoke with strange decision -

Men pointed to me as a boy

Who held them in derision.



But I was young - too young, by far -

Or I had been more wary,

I knew not then that winkles are

The stock-in-trade of MARY.



I had not watched her sunlight blithe

As o'er their shells it dances -

I've seen those winkles almost writhe

Beneath her beaming glances.



Of slighting all the winkly brood

I surely had been chary,

If I had known they formed the food

And stock-in-trade of MARY.



Both high and low and great and small

Fell prostrate at her tootsies,

They all were noblemen, and all

Had balances at COUTTS'S.



Dukes with the lovely maiden dealt,

DUKE BAILEY and DUKE HUMPHY,

Who ate her winkles till they felt

Exceedingly