The Beautiful Between - Alyssa B. Sheinmel [6]
My mother was always the prettiest woman at these lunches; none of the others could ever compare to her, with her dark hair, her painted nails, her bright lipstick, her fitted clothes. They always looked older than she did—even now, when I see her friends, I can never believe that my mother is the same age. I imagined she had a magic potion some fairy had given her, something that kept her looking young while the women around her aged. I didn’t believe I would grow up to be as pretty as her; I don’t look anything like her. I don’t remember when I stopped accompanying her to these lunches. It’s only now that I realize that I was the only kid there because the other women had husbands to leave their children with.
I’m in the kitchen when I hear the front door swing open and closed. I’m eating cereal over the kitchen counter, even though it’s three in the afternoon. I haven’t bothered to turn the lights on, so the countertops look gray and dusty, even though our housekeeper just came a few days ago; when the lights are on, you can see that they’re gleaming white.
“Hi, honey.”
“Hey.”
“How’s studying going?”
“It’s fine.”
“Good.” She’s not really looking at me, she’s sorting the mail. I wonder if she even remembers that I struggle with physics.
“Well, I’m going to go take a bath,” she says. “I’ll be out for dinner.” She looks around the kitchen, as though it’s just occurred to her that there might not be food enough for my dinner. “I’ll leave some money in the drawer for you?”
“Okay, thanks.”
“Okay, sweetie,” she says, and heads for her room. I wonder whether having a roommate in college will be like this. Our conversation has been just long enough for my cereal to get soggy. I throw what’s left in the garbage; it’ll be dinnertime soon anyway.
3
On Monday, I bring my lunch from the cafeteria to the junior lounge so that I can work on physics. I really should be using my free time to study, though I did take the time to notice that Jeremy wasn’t in the lunchroom before I decided to come up here. The lounge is completely empty, and more comfortable than studying in the library, since I can stretch out on the couches. I want to get some work done now so Jeremy doesn’t think I’m a complete idiot when he comes over later. Between bites of a bagel and vector calculations, I see that Kate has wandered in.
“Hey, Connelly,” she says, slipping her backpack onto the floor and perching on the couch across from me. “Have you seen Jeremy?”
I shake my head and pull myself into a sitting position. “Nope. He isn’t in the lunchroom?”
“I didn’t see him there. He must have gone out for a cigarette or something.”
“Do you need him for something? I can go try to find him.” The underclassmen aren’t allowed to go out during lunch and free periods, and even I know where Jeremy and his friends go to smoke. There’s a courtyard between a couple of apartment buildings around the corner. Even the teachers know about it, but they don’t care enough to catch anyone in the act.
“It’s okay.”
“I didn’t know Jeremy smoked,” I say, trying to make conversation. Kate’s being here is a nice break from studying.
“Yeah.” She wrinkles her nose. “Makes him smell bad.”
“Yeah.”
Kate leans back against the couch, closing her eyes for a second. She looks tired. She opens her eyes and sees my books. “Physics, huh? I never understand it when my dad and Jeremy talk about it. It sounds so hard.”
“Yeah, well, I’m sure they’ll tutor you if you need it in a few years.”
“Yeah, we’ll see,” she says, like she doesn’t really believe it.
“I mean, if Jeremy has the patience to tutor me, he can tutor anyone.”
Kate smiles at me. “He likes