The Beautiful Between - Alyssa B. Sheinmel [7]
“I still can’t figure out why he offered—I mean, he could be doing any number of more interesting things than helping a girl like me with physics.”
I can’t believe I just said that. I’ve been thinking it for days, but I can’t believe I said it out loud. She’ll think I’m trying to get her to tell me why her brother is suddenly interested in my physics grade. She probably knows everything about Jeremy.
“He just thinks you’re cool. He told me.”
“He thinks I’m cool?” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them. I can hear how excited I sound. Kate must think I’m ridiculously lame.
But she grins at me. “Yeah. I mean, you are.”
It’s such a nice compliment that I can feel my cheeks getting hot; I’m blushing.
“I thought you said we were dorks.”
Kate shrugs. “Who says we can’t be both?”
That makes me smile so wide that my mouth will hurt by the beginning of next period. Kate gets up to leave, and I tell her I’ll let Jeremy know she was looking for him, and she says it’s no big deal, she’ll find him later, but thanks anyway, and good luck on the quiz.
Okay, I know Kate is four years younger than I am, but she sure seems a lot wiser. But then, someone like Kate wouldn’t have to wonder why someone like her brother was taking an interest in her. Boys like that will probably always be interested in Kate.
Later that afternoon, I’m freaking out because there’s no way I’m going to pass the quiz tomorrow. None of the studying I’ve done has made a dent. Somewhere between neutrons and panic, there’s Jeremy, leaning against my bed, calmly explaining to me that protons are positive and electrons are negative, and there’s no air resistance in a vacuum, and it’s just like math.
“That does not help. I hate math.” My heart is actually racing. I’m terrified about taking this quiz. “I feel so stupid.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m only good at this because my father’s a science geek.”
“Oh?” I remember that Kate said Jeremy and his dad talk about physics sometimes.
“Yeah, by the age of eight I already knew about atoms and quarks. He used to sneak into my room when my mom thought I was sleeping and give me science lessons. I thought dust particles were molecules until I was eleven.”
I smile helplessly. “So I’m at a genetic disadvantage, is what you’re telling me.”
“I’m afraid so.”
It’s quiet for a minute, and when I bend over my notes again, Jeremy says, “Hey, Connelly, I didn’t mean anything by that.”
“By what?”
“About my father, I mean. I wasn’t … That was insensitive of me, I’m sorry.”
It takes me a second to realize he means because I don’t have a father, it was insensitive of him to talk about his. Why bring that up? It’s not like I went all sad the minute he mentioned his father. And anyway, as far as Jeremy knows, I’m just a girl whose parents are divorced. That’s not so sad.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean”—he looks visibly uncomfortable—“I mean, your dad passed away…. I shouldn’t be making fun of you for not having a dad to go over physics with you.”
Now my heart is racing again, and it has nothing to do with math. Curiosity makes my muscles twitch. “How do you know about my dad?”
Jeremy looks taken aback. “What? I just—you know, people talk.”
“Who?” I ask, suddenly accusatory. “Who talks? I don’t talk.” I press my fingers into the floor as though I’m about to push myself up to stand. The hardwood floor suddenly feels hot under my hands.
“Who told you about my dad?” I ask again.
Jeremy’s face looks like what I imagine mine does when faced with vector equations. I don’t know what to do. I want to be angry at him, but now I feel guilty because I’ve made him look like that. I want to forget that this has happened. I don’t want Jeremy to know how curious he’s made me: How does he know about my dad? And what does he know?
“Hey, I’m sorry,” I say. “Forget it. People talk, whatever. Let’s switch to vocab so I can feel smart for a while.”
Jeremy’s face relaxes and he smiles slowly, like he’s being careful about returning to his usual self. “All right, Sternin, but I’m not leaving