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The Complete Works of William Shakespeare - Israel Gollancz William Shakespeare [496]

By Root 21000 0
Sir

Johns; and, putting off his hat, said 'I will now take my leave

of these six dry, round, old, withered knights.' It ang'red him

to the heart; but he hath forgot that.

FRANCIS.

Why, then, cover and set them down; and see if thou canst

find out Sneak's noise; Mistress Tearsheet would fain hear some music.

Enter third DRAWER

THIRD DRAWER.

Dispatch! The room where they supp'd is too hot;

they'll come in straight.

FRANCIS.

Sirrah, here will be the Prince and Master Poins anon; and

they will put on two of our jerkins and aprons; and Sir John must

not know of it. Bardolph hath brought word.

THIRD DRAWER.

By the mass, here will be old uds; it will be an excellent stratagem.

SECOND DRAWER.

I'll see if I can find out Sneak.

Exeunt second and third DRAWERS

Enter HOSTESS and DOLL TEARSHEET

HOSTESS.

I' faith, sweetheart, methinks now you are in an excellent

good temperality. Your pulsidge beats as extraordinarily as heart

would desire; and your colour, I warrant you, is as red as any

rose, in good truth, la! But, i' faith, you have drunk too much

canaries; and that's a marvellous searching wine, and it perfumes

the blood ere one can say 'What's this?' How do you now?

DOLL.

Better than I was- hem.

HOSTESS.

Why, that's well said; a good heart's worth gold.

Lo, here comes Sir John.

Enter FALSTAFF

FALSTAFF.

[Singing] 'When Arthur first in court'- Empty the

jordan. [Exit FRANCIS]- [Singing] 'And was a worthy king'-

How

now, Mistress Doll!

HOSTESS.

Sick of a calm; yea, good faith.

FALSTAFF.

So is all her sect; and they be once in a calm, they are sick.

DOLL.

A pox damn you, you muddy rascal! Is that all the comfort you give me?

FALSTAFF.

You make fat rascals, Mistress Doll.

DOLL.

I make them! Gluttony and diseases make them: I make them not.

FALSTAFF.

If the cook help to make the gluttony, you help to make

the diseases, Doll. We catch of you, Doll, we catch of you; grant

that, my poor virtue, grant that.

DOLL.

Yea, joy, our chains and our jewels.

FALSTAFF.

'Your brooches, pearls, and ouches.' For to serve bravely

is to come halting off; you know, to come off the breach with his

pike bent bravely, and to surgery bravely; to venture upon the

charg'd chambers bravely-

DOLL.

Hang yourself, you muddy conger, hang yourself!

HOSTESS.

By my troth, this is the old fashion; you two never meet

but you fall to some discord. You are both, i' good truth, as

rheumatic as two dry toasts; you cannot one bear with another's

confirmities. What the good-year! one must bear, and that must be

you. You are the weaker vessel, as as they say, the emptier vessel.

DOLL.

Can a weak empty vessel bear such a huge full hogs-head?

There's a whole merchant's venture of Bourdeaux stuff in him; you

have not seen a hulk better stuff'd in the hold. Come, I'll be

friends with thee, Jack. Thou art going to the wars; and whether

I shall ever see thee again or no, there is nobody cares.

Re-enter FRANCIS

FRANCIS.

Sir, Ancient Pistol's below and would speak with you.

DOLL.

Hang him, swaggering rascal! Let him not come hither; it is

the foul-mouth'dst rogue in England.

HOSTESS.

If he swagger, let him not come here. No, by my faith!

I

must live among my neighbours; I'll no swaggerers. I am in good

name and fame with the very best. Shut the door. There comes no

swaggerers here; I have not liv'd all this while to have

swaggering now. Shut the door, I pray you.

FALSTAFF.

Dost thou hear, hostess?

HOSTESS.

Pray ye, pacify yourself, Sir John; there comes no swaggerers here.

FALSTAFF.

Dost thou hear? It is mine ancient.

HOSTESS.

Tilly-fally, Sir John, ne'er tell me; and your ancient

swagg'rer comes not in my doors. I was before Master Tisick, the

debuty, t' other day; and, as he said to me- 'twas no longer ago

than Wednesday last, i' good faith!- 'Neighbour Quickly,' says

he- Master Dumbe, our minister, was by then- 'Neighbour

Quickly,'

says he 'receive those that are civil, for' said he 'you are in

an ill name.' Now 'a said so, I

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