The Complete Works of William Shakespeare - Israel Gollancz William Shakespeare [499]
to his master's old tables, his note-book, his
counsel-keeper.
FALSTAFF.
Thou dost give me flattering busses.
DOLL.
By my troth, I kiss thee with a most constant heart.
FALSTAFF.
I am old, I am old.
DOLL.
I love thee better than I love e'er a scurvy young boy of them all.
FALSTAFF.
What stuff wilt have a kirtle of? I shall receive money a
Thursday. Shalt have a cap to-morrow. A merry song, come. 'A
grows late; we'll to bed. Thou't forget me when I am gone.
DOLL.
By my troth, thou't set me a-weeping, an thou say'st so.
Prove that ever I dress myself handsome till thy return.
Well,
hearken a' th' end.
FALSTAFF.
Some sack, Francis.
PRINCE & POINS. Anon, anon, sir. [Advancing]
FALSTAFF.
Ha! a bastard son of the King's? And art thou not
Poins his brother?
PRINCE.
Why, thou globe of sinful continents, what a life dost thou lead!
FALSTAFF.
A better than thou. I am a gentleman: thou art a drawer.
PRINCE.
Very true, sir, and I come to draw you out by the ears.
HOSTESS.
O, the Lord preserve thy Grace! By my troth, welcome to
London. Now the Lord bless that sweet face of thine. O Jesu, are
you come from Wales?
FALSTAFF.
Thou whoreson mad compound of majesty, by this light
flesh and corrupt blood, thou art welcome.
[Leaning his band upon DOLL]
DOLL.
How, you fat fool! I scorn you.
POINS.
My lord, he will drive you out of your revenge and turn all
to a merriment, if you take not the heat.
PRINCE.
YOU whoreson candle-mine, you, how vilely did you speak of
me even now before this honest, virtuous, civil gentlewoman!
HOSTESS.
God's blessing of your good heart! and so she is, by my troth.
FALSTAFF.
Didst thou hear me?
PRINCE.
Yea; and you knew me, as you did when you ran away by
Gadshill. You knew I was at your back, and spoke it on purpose to try my patience.
FALSTAFF.
No, no, no; not so; I did not think thou wast within hearing.
PRINCE.
I shall drive you then to confess the wilful abuse, and
then I know how to handle you.
FALSTAFF.
No abuse, Hal, o' mine honour; no abuse.
PRINCE.
Not- to dispraise me, and call me pander, and
bread-chipper, and I know not what!
FALSTAFF.
No abuse, Hal.
POINS.
No abuse!
FALSTAFF.
No abuse, Ned, i' th' world; honest Ned, none. I
disprais'd him before the wicked- that the wicked might not fall
in love with thee; in which doing, I have done the part of a
careful friend and a true subject; and thy father is to give me
thanks for it. No abuse, Hal; none, Ned, none; no, faith,
boys, none.
PRINCE.
See now, whether pure fear and entire cowardice doth not
make thee wrong this virtuous gentlewoman to close with us?
Is
she of the wicked? Is thine hostess here of the wicked? Or is thy
boy of the wicked? Or honest Bardolph, whose zeal burns in his
nose, of the wicked?
POINS.
Answer, thou dead elm, answer.
FALSTAFF.
The fiend hath prick'd down Bardolph irrecoverable; and
his face is Lucifer's privy-kitchen, where he doth nothing but
roast malt-worms. For the boy- there is a good angel about him;
but the devil outbids him too.
PRINCE.
For the women?
FALSTAFF.
For one of them- she's in hell already, and burns poor
souls. For th' other- I owe her money; and whether she be damn'd
for that, I know not.
HOSTESS.
No, I warrant you.
FALSTAFF.
No, I think thou art not; I think thou art quit for that.
Marry, there is another indictment upon thee for suffering flesh
to be eaten in thy house, contrary to the law; for the which
I
think thou wilt howl.
HOSTESS.
All vict'lers do so. What's a joint of mutton or two in a
whole Lent?
PRINCE.
You, gentlewoman-
DOLL.
What says your Grace?
FALSTAFF.
His Grace says that which his flesh rebels against.
[Knocking within]
HOSTESS.
Who knocks so loud at door? Look to th' door there,
Francis.
Enter PETO
PRINCE.
Peto, how now! What news?
PETO.
The King your father is at Westminster;
And there are twenty weak and wearied posts
Come from the north; and