The Complete Works of William Shakespeare - Israel Gollancz William Shakespeare [498]
Give me some sack; and, sweetheart, lie thou there.
[Laying down his sword]
Come we to full points here, and are etceteras nothings?
FALSTAFF.
Pistol, I would be quiet.
PISTOL.
Sweet knight, I kiss thy neaf. What! we have seen the seven stars.
DOLL.
For God's sake thrust him down stairs; I cannot endure such a fustian rascal.
PISTOL.
Thrust him down stairs! Know we not Galloway nags?
FALSTAFF.
Quoit him down, Bardolph, like a shove-groat shilling.
Nay, an 'a do nothing but speak nothing, 'a shall be nothing here.
BARDOLPH.
Come, get you down stairs.
PISTOL.
What! shall we have incision? Shall we imbrue?
[Snatching up his sword]
Then death rock me asleep, abridge my doleful days!
Why, then, let grievous, ghastly, gaping wounds
Untwine the Sisters Three! Come, Atropos, I say!
HOSTESS.
Here's goodly stuff toward!
FALSTAFF.
Give me my rapier, boy.
DOLL.
I pray thee, Jack, I pray thee, do not draw.
FALSTAFF.
Get you down stairs.
[Drawing and driving PISTOL out]
HOSTESS.
Here's a goodly tumult! I'll forswear keeping house afore
I'll be in these tirrits and frights. So; murder, I warrant now.
Alas, alas! put up your naked weapons, put up your naked weapons.
Exeunt PISTOL and BARDOLPH
DOLL.
I pray thee, Jack, be quiet; the rascal's gone. Ah, you
whoreson little valiant villain, you!
HOSTESS.
Are you not hurt i' th' groin? Methought 'a made a shrewd
thrust at your belly.
Re-enter BARDOLPH
FALSTAFF.
Have you turn'd him out a doors?
BARDOLPH.
Yea, sir. The rascal's drunk. You have hurt him, sir, i'
th' shoulder.
FALSTAFF.
A rascal! to brave me!
DOLL.
Ah, you sweet little rogue, you! Alas, poor ape, how thou
sweat'st! Come, let me wipe thy face. Come on, you whoreson
chops. Ah, rogue! i' faith, I love thee. Thou art as valorous as
Hector of Troy, worth five of Agamemnon, and ten times better
than the Nine Worthies. Ah, villain!
FALSTAFF.
A rascally slave! I will toss the rogue in a blanket.
DOLL.
Do, an thou dar'st for thy heart. An thou dost, I'll canvass
thee between a pair of sheets.
Enter musicians
PAGE.
The music is come, sir.
FALSTAFF.
Let them play. Play, sirs. Sit on my knee, Don. A rascal
bragging slave! The rogue fled from me like quick-silver.
DOLL.
I' faith, and thou follow'dst him like a church. Thou
whoreson little tidy Bartholomew boar-pig, when wilt thou leave
fighting a days and foining a nights, and begin to patch up thine
old body for heaven?
Enter, behind, PRINCE HENRY and POINS disguised as drawers
FALSTAFF.
Peace, good Doll! Do not speak like a death's-head; do
not bid me remember mine end.
DOLL.
Sirrah, what humour's the Prince of?
FALSTAFF.
A good shallow young fellow. 'A would have made a good
pantler; 'a would ha' chipp'd bread well.
DOLL.
They say Poins has a good wit.
FALSTAFF.
He a good wit! hang him, baboon! His wit's as thick as
Tewksbury mustard; there's no more conceit in him than is in a mallet.
DOLL.
Why does the Prince love him so, then?
FALSTAFF.
Because their legs are both of a bigness, and 'a plays at
quoits well, and eats conger and fennel, and drinks off candles'
ends for flap-dragons, and rides the wild mare with the boys, and
jumps upon join'd-stools, and swears with a good grace, and wears
his boots very smooth, like unto the sign of the Leg, and breeds
no bate with telling of discreet stories; and such other gambol
faculties 'a has, that show a weak mind and an able body, for the
which the Prince admits him. For the Prince himself is such
another; the weight of a hair will turn the scales between their avoirdupois.
PRINCE.
Would not this nave of a wheel have his ears cut off?
POINS.
Let's beat him before his whore.
PRINCE.
Look whe'er the wither'd elder hath not his poll claw'd like a parrot.
POINS.
Is it not strange that desire should so many years outlive performance?
FALSTAFF.
Kiss me, Doll.
PRINCE.
Saturn and Venus this year in conjunction! What says th'
almanac to that?
POINS.
And look whether