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in Datchet Mead, and there empty it in the muddy ditch

close by the Thames side.

Mrs. PAGE. You will do it?

MRS.

FORD. I ha' told them over and over; they lack no

direction. Be gone, and come when you are call'd.

Exeunt SERVANTS

MRS.

PAGE. Here comes little Robin.

Enter ROBIN

MRS.

FORD. How now, my eyas-musket, what news with you?

ROBIN.

My Master Sir John is come in at your back-door,

Mistress Ford, and requests your company.

MRS.

PAGE. You little Jack-a-Lent, have you been true to us?

ROBIN.

Ay, I'll be sworn. My master knows not of your

being here, and hath threat'ned to put me into everlasting

liberty, if I tell you of it; for he swears he'll turn me away.

MRS.

PAGE. Thou 'rt a good boy; this secrecy of thine shall

be a tailor to thee, and shall make thee a new doublet and

hose. I'll go hide me.

MRS.

FORD. Do so. Go tell thy master I am alone. [Exit

ROBIN] Mistress Page, remember you your cue.

MRS.

PAGE. I warrant thee; if I do not act it, hiss me.

Exit MRS. PAGE

MRS.

FORD. Go to, then; we'll use this unwholesome

humidity, this gross wat'ry pumpion; we'll teach him to

know turtles from jays.

Enter FALSTAFF

FALSTAFF.

Have I caught thee, my heavenly jewel?

Why, now let me die, for I have liv'd long enough; this is

the period of my ambition. O this blessed hour!

MRS.

FORD. O sweet Sir John!

FALSTAFF.

Mistress Ford, I cannot cog, I cannot prate,

Mistress Ford. Now shall I sin in my wish; I would thy

husband were dead; I'll speak it before the best lord, I

would make thee my lady.

MRS.

FORD. I your lady, Sir John? Alas, I should be a pitiful lady.

FALSTAFF.

Let the court of France show me such another. I

see how thine eye would emulate the diamond; thou hast

the right arched beauty of the brow that becomes the

ship-tire, the tire-valiant, or any tire of Venetian admittance.

MRS.

FORD. A plain kerchief, Sir John; my brows become

nothing else, nor that well neither.

FALSTAFF.

By the Lord, thou art a tyrant to say so; thou

wouldst make an absolute courtier, and the firm fixture of

thy foot would give an excellent motion to thy gait in a

semi-circled farthingale. I see what thou wert, if Fortune

thy foe were, not Nature, thy friend. Come, thou canst not hide it.

MRS.

FORD. Believe me, there's no such thing in me.

FALSTAFF.

What made me love thee? Let that persuade thee

there's something extra-ordinary in thee. Come, I cannot

cog, and say thou art this and that, like a many of these

lisping hawthorn-buds that come like women in men's

apparel, and smell like Bucklersbury in simple time; I

cannot; but I love thee, none but thee; and thou deserv'st it.

MRS.

FORD. Do not betray me, sir; I fear you love Mistress Page.

FALSTAFF.

Thou mightst as well say I love to walk by the

Counter-gate, which is as hateful to me as the reek of a

lime-kiln.

MRS.

FORD. Well, heaven knows how I love you; and you

shall one day find it.

FALSTAFF.

Keep in that mind; I'll deserve it.

MRS.

FORD. Nay, I must tell you, so you do; or else I could not be in that mind.

ROBIN.

[Within] Mistress Ford, Mistress Ford! here's

Mistress Page at the door, sweating and blowing and looking

wildly, and would needs speak with you presently.

FALSTAFF.

She shall not see me; I will ensconce me behind the arras.

MRS.

FORD. Pray you, do so; she's a very tattling woman.

[FALSTAFF hides himself]

Re-enter MISTRESS PAGE and ROBIN

What's the matter? How now!

MRS.

PAGE. O Mistress Ford, what have you done? You're

sham'd, y'are overthrown, y'are undone for ever.

MRS.

FORD. What's the matter, good Mistress Page?

MRS.

PAGE. O well-a-day, Mistress Ford, having an honest

man to your husband, to give him such cause of suspicion!

MRS.

FORD. What cause of suspicion?

MRS.

PAGE. What cause of suspicion? Out upon you, how

am I mistook in you!

MRS.

FORD. Why, alas, what's the matter?

MRS.

PAGE. Your husband's coming hither, woman, with all

the officers in Windsor, to search for