The Complete Works of William Shakespeare - Israel Gollancz William Shakespeare [742]
says is here now in the house, by your consent, to take an
ill advantage of his absence. You are undone.
MRS.
FORD. 'Tis not so, I hope.
MRS.
PAGE. Pray heaven it be not so that you have such a
man here; but 'tis most certain your husband's coming,
with half Windsor at his heels, to search for such a one. I
come before to tell you. If you know yourself clear, why,
I am glad of it; but if you have a friend here, convey,
convey him out. Be not amaz'd; call all your senses to you;
defend your reputation, or bid farewell to your good life for ever.
MRS.
FORD. What shall I do? There is a gentleman, my dear
friend; and I fear not mine own shame as much as his peril.
I had rather than a thousand pound he were out of the house.
MRS.
PAGE. For shame, never stand 'you had rather' and 'you
had rather'! Your husband's here at hand; bethink you of
some conveyance; in the house you cannot hide him. O,
how have you deceiv'd me! Look, here is a basket; if he be
of any reasonable stature, he may creep in here; and throw
foul linen upon him, as if it were going to bucking, or-it is
whiting-time-send him by your two men to Datchet Mead.
MRS.
FORD. He's too big to go in there. What shall I do?
FALSTAFF.
[Coming forward] Let me see 't, let me see 't. O,
let me see 't! I'll in, I'll in; follow your friend's counsel;
I'll in.
MRS.
PAGE. What, Sir John Falstaff! [Aside to FALSTAFF]
Are these your letters, knight?
FALSTAFF.
[Aside to MRS. PAGE] I love thee and none but
thee; help me away.-Let me creep in here; I'll never-
[Gets into the basket; they cover him with foul linen]
MRS.
PAGE. Help to cover your master, boy. Call your men,
Mistress Ford. You dissembling knight!
MRS.
FORD. What, John! Robert! John! Exit ROBIN
Re-enter SERVANTS
Go, take up these clothes here, quickly; where's the cowl-staff? Look how you drumble. Carry them to the laundress in Datchet Mead; quickly, come.
Enter FORD, PAGE, CAIUS, and SIR HUGH EVANS
FORD.
Pray you come near. If I suspect without cause, why
then make sport at me, then let me be your jest; I deserve
it. How now, whither bear you this?
SERVANT.
To the laundress, forsooth.
MRS.
FORD. Why, what have you to do whither they bear it?
You were best meddle with buck-washing.
FORD.
Buck? I would I could wash myself of the buck!
Buck, buck, buck! ay, buck! I warrant you, buck; and of
the season too, it shall appear. [Exeunt SERVANTS with
basket] Gentlemen, I have dream'd to-night; I'll tell you my
dream. Here, here, here be my keys; ascend my chambers,
search, seek, find out. I'll warrant we'll unkennel the fox.
Let me stop this way first. [Locking the door] So, now uncape.
PAGE.
Good Master Ford, be contented; you wrong yourself too much.
FORD.
True, Master Page. Up, gentlemen, you shall see sport
anon; follow me, gentlemen. Exit
EVANS. This is fery fantastical humours and jealousies.
CAIUS.
By gar, 'tis no the fashion of France; it is not jealous
in France.
PAGE.
Nay, follow him, gentlemen; see the issue of his
search. Exeunt EVANS, PAGE, and CAIUS
MRS.
PAGE. Is there not a double excellency in this?
MRS.
FORD. I know not which pleases me better, that my
husband is deceived, or Sir John.
MRS.
PAGE. What a taking was he in when your husband
ask'd who was in the basket!
MRS.
FORD. I am half afraid he will have need of washing; so
throwing him into the water will do him a benefit.
MRS.
PAGE. Hang him, dishonest rascal! I would all of the
same strain were in the same distress.
MRS.
FORD. I think my husband hath some special suspicion
of Falstaff's being here, for I never saw him so gross in his jealousy till now.
MRS.
PAGE. I Will lay a plot to try that, and we will yet have
more tricks with Falstaff. His dissolute disease will scarce obey this medicine.
MRS.
FORD. Shall we send that foolish carrion, Mistress
Quickly, to him, and excuse his throwing into the water,
and give him another hope, to betray him to another punishment?
MRS.
PAGE. We will