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The Complete Works of William Shakespeare - Israel Gollancz William Shakespeare [749]

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of me 'As jealous as

Ford, that search'd a hollow walnut for his wife's leman.'

Satisfy me once more; once more search with me.

MRS.

FORD. What, hoa, Mistress Page! Come you and the old

woman down; my husband will come into the chamber.

FORD.

Old woman? what old woman's that?

MRS.

FORD. Why, it is my maid's aunt of Brainford.

FORD.

A witch, a quean, an old cozening quean! Have I not

forbid her my house? She comes of errands, does she? We

are simple men; we do not know what's brought to pass

under the profession of fortune-telling. She works by

charms, by spells, by th' figure, and such daub'ry as this

is, beyond our element. We know nothing. Come down, you

witch, you hag you; come down, I say.

MRS.

FORD. Nay, good sweet husband! Good gentlemen, let

him not strike the old woman.

Re-enter FALSTAFF in woman's clothes, and MISTRESS PAGE

MRS.

PAGE. Come, Mother Prat; come. give me your hand.

FORD.

I'll prat her. [Beating him] Out of my door, you

witch, you hag, you. baggage, you polecat, you ronyon!

Out, out! I'll conjure you, I'll fortune-tell you.

Exit FALSTAFF

MRS.

PAGE. Are you not asham'd? I think you have kill'd the poor woman.

MRS.

FORD. Nay, he will do it. 'Tis a goodly credit for you.

FORD.

Hang her, witch!

EVANS.

By yea and no, I think the oman is a witch indeed; I

like not when a oman has a great peard; I spy a great peard under his muffler.

FORD.

Will you follow, gentlemen? I beseech you follow;

see but the issue of my jealousy; if I cry out thus upon no

trail, never trust me when I open again.

PAGE.

Let's obey his humour a little further. Come,

gentlemen. Exeunt all but MRS. FORD and MRS. PAGE

MRS.

PAGE. Trust me, he beat him most pitifully.

MRS.

FORD. Nay, by th' mass, that he did not; he beat him

most unpitifully methought.

MRS.

PAGE. I'll have the cudgel hallow'd and hung o'er the

altar; it hath done meritorious service.

MRS.

FORD. What think you? May we, with the warrant of

womanhood and the witness of a good conscience, pursue

him with any further revenge?

MRS.

PAGE. The spirit of wantonness is sure scar'd out of

him; if the devil have him not in fee-simple, with fine and

recovery, he will never, I think, in the way of waste,

attempt us again.

MRS.

FORD. Shall we tell our husbands how we have serv'd him?

MRS.

PAGE. Yes, by all means; if it be but to scrape the

figures out of your husband's brains. If they can find in their

hearts the poor unvirtuous fat knight shall be any further

afflicted, we two will still be the ministers.

MRS.

FORD. I'll warrant they'll have him publicly sham'd;

and methinks there would be no period to the jest, should

he not be publicly sham'd.

MRS.

PAGE. Come, to the forge with it then; shape it. I

would not have things cool. Exeunt

SCENE 3.

The Garter Inn

Enter HOST and BARDOLPH

BARDOLPH.

Sir, the Germans desire to have three of your

horses; the Duke himself will be to-morrow at court, and

they are going to meet him.

HOST.

What duke should that be comes so secretly? I hear

not of him in the court. Let me speak with the gentlemen;

they speak English?

BARDOLPH.

Ay, sir; I'll call them to you.

HOST.

They shall have my horses, but I'll make them pay;

I'll sauce them; they have had my house a week at

command; I have turn'd away my other guests. They must

come off; I'll sauce them. Come. Exeunt

SCENE 4

FORD'S house

Enter PAGE, FORD, MISTRESS PAGE, MISTRESS FORD, and SIR HUGH

EVANS

EVANS.

'Tis one of the best discretions of a oman as ever did look upon.

PAGE.

And did he send you both these letters at an instant?

MRS.

PAGE. Within a quarter of an hour.

FORD.

Pardon me, wife. Henceforth, do what thou wilt;

I rather will suspect the sun with cold

Than thee with wantonness. Now doth thy honour stand,

In him that was of late an heretic,

As firm as faith.

PAGE.

'Tis well, 'tis well; no more.

Be not as extreme in submission as in offence;

But let our plot go forward. Let our wives

Yet once again, to make us public

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