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if my wind were but long enough to say my prayers,

would repent.

Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY

Now! whence come you?

QUICKLY.

From the two parties, forsooth.

FALSTAFF.

The devil take one party and his dam the other!

And so they shall be both bestowed. I have suffer'd more

for their sakes, more than the villainous inconstancy of

man's disposition is able to bear.

QUICKLY.

And have not they suffer'd? Yes, I warrant;

speciously one of them; Mistress Ford, good heart, is beaten

black and blue, that you cannot see a white spot about her.

FALSTAFF.

What tell'st thou me of black and blue? I was

beaten myself into all the colours of the rainbow; and

was like to be apprehended for the witch of Brainford. But

that my admirable dexterity of wit, my counterfeiting the

action of an old woman, deliver'd me, the knave constable

had set me i' th' stocks, i' th' common stocks, for a witch.

QUICKLY.

Sir, let me speak with you in your chamber; you

shall hear how things go, and, I warrant, to your content.

Here is a letter will say somewhat. Good hearts, what ado

here is to bring you together! Sure, one of you does not

serve heaven well, that you are so cross'd.

FALSTAFF.

Come up into my chamber. Exeunt

SCENE 6.

The Garter Inn

Enter FENTON and HOST

HOST.

Master Fenton, talk not to me; my mind is heavy; I

will give over all.

FENTON.

Yet hear me speak. Assist me in my purpose,

And, as I am a gentleman, I'll give the

A hundred pound in gold more than your loss.

HOST.

I will hear you, Master Fenton; and I will, at the least,

keep your counsel.

FENTON.

From time to time I have acquainted you

With the dear love I bear to fair Anne Page;

Who, mutually, hath answer'd my affection,

So far forth as herself might be her chooser,

Even to my wish. I have a letter from her

Of such contents as you will wonder at;

The mirth whereof so larded with my matter

That neither, singly, can be manifested

Without the show of both. Fat Falstaff

Hath a great scene. The image of the jest

I'll show you here at large. Hark, good mine host:

To-night at Heme's oak, just 'twixt twelve and one,

Must my sweet Nan present the Fairy Queen-

The purpose why is here-in which disguise,

While other jests are something rank on foot,

Her father hath commanded her to slip

Away with Slender, and with him at Eton

Immediately to marry; she hath consented.

Now, sir,

Her mother, even strong against that match

And firm for Doctor Caius, hath appointed

That he shall likewise shuffle her away

While other sports are tasking of their minds,

And at the dean'ry, where a priest attends,

Straight marry her. To this her mother's plot

She seemingly obedient likewise hath

Made promise to the doctor. Now thus it rests:

Her father means she shall be all in white;

And in that habit, when Slender sees his time

To take her by the hand and bid her go,

She shall go with him; her mother hath intended

The better to denote her to the doctor-

For they must all be mask'd and vizarded-

That quaint in green she shall be loose enrob'd,

With ribands pendent, flaring 'bout her head;

And when the doctor spies his vantage ripe,

To pinch her by the hand, and, on that token,

The maid hath given consent to go with him.

HOST.

Which means she to deceive, father or mother?

FENTON.

Both, my good host, to go along with me.

And here it rests-that you'll procure the vicar

To stay for me at church, 'twixt twelve and one,

And in the lawful name of marrying,

To give our hearts united ceremony.

HOST.

Well, husband your device; I'll to the vicar.

Bring you the maid, you shall not lack a priest.

FENTON.

So shall I evermore be bound to thee;

Besides, I'll make a present recompense. Exeunt

ACT V. SCENE 1.

The Garter Inn

Enter FALSTAFF and MISTRESS QUICKLY

FALSTAFF.

Prithee, no more prattling; go. I'll, hold. This is

the third time; I hope good luck lies in odd numbers.

Away, go; they say there is divinity in odd numbers, either

in nativity, chance, or death.