The Contrast [18]
name; his other name I forgot. Oh! it was Wig--Wag-- Wag-all, Darby Wag-all,--pray, do you know him?-- I should like to take a sling with him, or a drap of cyder with a pepper-pod in it, to make it warm and comfortable.
JENNY
I can't say I have that pleasure.
JONATHAN
I wish you did; he is a cute fellow. But there was one thing I didn't like in that Mr. Darby; and that was, he was afraid of some of them 'ere shooting irons, such as your troopers wear on training days. Now, I'm a true born Yankee American son of liberty, and I never was afraid of a gun yet in all my life.
JENNY
Well, Mr. Jonathan, you were certainly at the play- house.
JONATHAN
I at the play-house!--Why didn't I see the play then?
JENNY
Why, the people you saw were players.
JONATHAN
Mercy on my soul! did I see the wicked players?-- Mayhap that 'ere Darby that I liked so was the old serpent himself, and had his cloven foot in his pocket. Why, I vow, now I come to think on't, the candles seemed to burn blue, and I am sure where I sat it smelt tarnally of brimstone.
JESSAMY
Well, Mr. Jonathan, from your account, which I confess is very accurate, you must have been at the play-house.
JONATHAN
Why, I vow, I began to smell a rat. When I came away, I went to the man for my money again; you want your money? says he; yes, says I; for what? says he; why, says I, no man shall jocky me out of my money; I paid my money to see sights, and the dogs a bit of a sight have I seen, unless you call listening to people's private business a sight. Why, says he, it is the School for Scandalization.-- The School for Scandalization!--Oh! ho! no wonder you New-York folks are so cute at it, when you go to school to learn it; and so I jogged off.
JESSAMY
My dear Jenny, my master's business drags me from you; would to heaven I knew no other servitude than to your charms.
JONATHAN
Well, but don't go; you won't leave me so--
JESSAMY
Excuse me.--Remember the cash. [Aside to him, and--Exit.]
JENNY
Mr. Jonathan, won't you please to sit down? Mr. Jessamy tells me you wanted to have some conversa- tion with me. [Having brought forward two chairs, they sit.]
JONATHAN
Ma'am!--
JENNY
Sir!--
JONATHAN
Ma'am!--
JENNY
Pray, how do you like the city, Sir?
JONATHAN
Ma'am!--
JENNY
I say, Sir, how do you like New-York?
JONATHAN
Ma'am!--
JENNY
The stupid creature! but I must pass some little time with him, if it is only to endeavour to learn whether it was his master that made such an abrupt entrance into our house, and my young mistress's heart, this morn- ing. [Aside.] As you don't seem to like to talk, Mr. Jonathan--do you sing?
JONATHAN Gor, I--I am glad she asked that, for I forgot what Mr. Jessamy bid me say, and I dare as well be hanged as act what he bid me do, I'm so ashamed. [Aside.] Yes, Ma'am, I can sing--I can sing Mear, Old Hundred, and Bangor.
JENNY
Oh! I don't mean psalm tunes. Have you no little song to please the ladies, such as Roslin Castle, or the Maid of the Mill?
JONATHAN
Why, all my tunes go to meeting tunes, save one, and I count you won't altogether like that 'ere.
JENNY
What is it called?
JONATHAN
I am sure you have heard folks talk about it; it is called Yankee Doodle.
JENNY
Oh! it is the tune I am fond of; and if I know any- thing of my mistress, she would be glad to dance to it. Pray, sing!
JONATHAN [Sings.]
Father and I went up to camp, Along with Captain Goodwin; And there we saw the men and boys, As thick as hasty-pudding. Yankee doodle do, etc.
And there we saw a swamping gun, Big as log of maple, On a little deuced cars, A load for father's cattle. Yankee doodle do, etc. And every time they fired it off It took a horn of powder, It made a noise--like father's gun, Only a nation louder. Yankee doodle do, etc.
There was a man in our town, His name was--
No, no, that won't do. Now, if I was with Tabitha Wymen and Jemima Cawley down at father
JENNY
I can't say I have that pleasure.
JONATHAN
I wish you did; he is a cute fellow. But there was one thing I didn't like in that Mr. Darby; and that was, he was afraid of some of them 'ere shooting irons, such as your troopers wear on training days. Now, I'm a true born Yankee American son of liberty, and I never was afraid of a gun yet in all my life.
JENNY
Well, Mr. Jonathan, you were certainly at the play- house.
JONATHAN
I at the play-house!--Why didn't I see the play then?
JENNY
Why, the people you saw were players.
JONATHAN
Mercy on my soul! did I see the wicked players?-- Mayhap that 'ere Darby that I liked so was the old serpent himself, and had his cloven foot in his pocket. Why, I vow, now I come to think on't, the candles seemed to burn blue, and I am sure where I sat it smelt tarnally of brimstone.
JESSAMY
Well, Mr. Jonathan, from your account, which I confess is very accurate, you must have been at the play-house.
JONATHAN
Why, I vow, I began to smell a rat. When I came away, I went to the man for my money again; you want your money? says he; yes, says I; for what? says he; why, says I, no man shall jocky me out of my money; I paid my money to see sights, and the dogs a bit of a sight have I seen, unless you call listening to people's private business a sight. Why, says he, it is the School for Scandalization.-- The School for Scandalization!--Oh! ho! no wonder you New-York folks are so cute at it, when you go to school to learn it; and so I jogged off.
JESSAMY
My dear Jenny, my master's business drags me from you; would to heaven I knew no other servitude than to your charms.
JONATHAN
Well, but don't go; you won't leave me so--
JESSAMY
Excuse me.--Remember the cash. [Aside to him, and--Exit.]
JENNY
Mr. Jonathan, won't you please to sit down? Mr. Jessamy tells me you wanted to have some conversa- tion with me. [Having brought forward two chairs, they sit.]
JONATHAN
Ma'am!--
JENNY
Sir!--
JONATHAN
Ma'am!--
JENNY
Pray, how do you like the city, Sir?
JONATHAN
Ma'am!--
JENNY
I say, Sir, how do you like New-York?
JONATHAN
Ma'am!--
JENNY
The stupid creature! but I must pass some little time with him, if it is only to endeavour to learn whether it was his master that made such an abrupt entrance into our house, and my young mistress's heart, this morn- ing. [Aside.] As you don't seem to like to talk, Mr. Jonathan--do you sing?
JONATHAN Gor, I--I am glad she asked that, for I forgot what Mr. Jessamy bid me say, and I dare as well be hanged as act what he bid me do, I'm so ashamed. [Aside.] Yes, Ma'am, I can sing--I can sing Mear, Old Hundred, and Bangor.
JENNY
Oh! I don't mean psalm tunes. Have you no little song to please the ladies, such as Roslin Castle, or the Maid of the Mill?
JONATHAN
Why, all my tunes go to meeting tunes, save one, and I count you won't altogether like that 'ere.
JENNY
What is it called?
JONATHAN
I am sure you have heard folks talk about it; it is called Yankee Doodle.
JENNY
Oh! it is the tune I am fond of; and if I know any- thing of my mistress, she would be glad to dance to it. Pray, sing!
JONATHAN [Sings.]
Father and I went up to camp, Along with Captain Goodwin; And there we saw the men and boys, As thick as hasty-pudding. Yankee doodle do, etc.
And there we saw a swamping gun, Big as log of maple, On a little deuced cars, A load for father's cattle. Yankee doodle do, etc. And every time they fired it off It took a horn of powder, It made a noise--like father's gun, Only a nation louder. Yankee doodle do, etc.
There was a man in our town, His name was--
No, no, that won't do. Now, if I was with Tabitha Wymen and Jemima Cawley down at father