The Contrast [27]
all your life-time, and would you have it after you are dead, too?"
JONATHAN
Ho, ho, ho! There the old man was even with her; he was up to the notch--ha, ha, ha!
JESSAMY
But, Mr. Jonathan, you must not laugh so. Why you ought to have tittered piano, and you have laughed fortissimo. Look here; you see these marks, A, B, C, and so on; these are the references to the other part of the book. Let us turn to it, and you will see the directions how to manage the muscles. This [turns over] was note D you blundered at.--You must purse the mouth into a smile, then titter, discov- ering the lower part of the three front upper teeth.
JONATHAN
How? read it again.
JESSAMY
"There was a certain man"--very well!--"who had a sad scolding wife,"--why don't you laugh?
JONATHAN
Now, that scolding wife sticks in my gizzard so pluckily that I can't laugh for the blood and nowns of me. Let me look grave here, and I'll laugh your belly full, where the old creature's a-dying.
JESSAMY
"And she asked her husband"--[Bell rings.] My master's bell! he's returned, I fear.--Here, Mr. Jona- than, take this gamut; and I make no doubt but with a few years' close application, you may be able to smile gracefully." [Exeunt severally.
SCENE II.
CHARLOTTE'S Apartment.
Enter MANLY.
MANLY
WHAT, no one at home? How unfortunate to meet the only lady my heart was ever moved by, to find her engaged to another, and confessing her partiality for me! Yet engaged to a man who, by her inti- mation, and his libertine conversation with me, I fear, does not merit her. Aye! there's the sting; for, were I assured that Maria was happy, my heart is not so selfish but that it would dilate in knowing it, even though it were with another. But to know she is unhappy!--I must drive these thoughts from me. Charlotte has some books; and this is what I believe she calls her little library. [Enters a closet.
Enter DIMPLE leading LETITIA.
LETITIA
And will you pretend to say now, Mr. Dimple, that you propose to break with Maria? Are not the banns published? Are not the clothes purchased? Are not the friends invited? In short, is it not a done affair?
DIMPLE
Believe me, my dear Letitia, I would not marry her.
LETITIA
Why have you not broke with her before this, as you all along deluded me by saying you would?
DIMPLE
Because I was in hopes she would, ere this, have broke with me.
LETITIA
You could not expect it.
DIMPLE
Nay, but be calm a moment; 'twas from my regard to you that I did not discard her.
LETITIA
Regard to me!
DIMPLE
Yes; I have done everything in my power to break with her, but the foolish girl is so fond of me that nothing can accomplish it. Besides, how can I offer her my hand when my heart is indissolubly engaged to you?
LETITIA
There may be reason in this; but why so attentive to Miss Manly?
DIMPLE
Attentive to Miss Manly! For heaven's sake, if you have no better opinion of my constancy, pay not so ill a compliment to my taste.
LETITIA
Did I not see you whisper her to-day?
DIMPLE
Possibly I might--but something of so very trifling a nature that I have already forgot what it was.
LETITIA
I believe she has not forgot it.
DIMPLE
My dear creature, how can you for a moment sup- pose I should have any serious thoughts of that trifling, gay, flighty coquette, that disagreeable--
Enter CHARLOTTE.
DIMPLE
My dear Miss Manly, I rejoice to see you; there is a charm in your conversation that always marks your entrance into company as fortunate.
LETITIA
Where have you been, my dear?
CHARLOTTE
Why, I have been about to twenty shops, turning over pretty things, and so have left twenty visits unpaid. I wish you would step into the carriage and whisk round, make my apology, and leave my cards where our friends are not at home; that, you know, will serve as a visit. Come, do go.
LETITIA
So anxious to get me out! but I'll watch you. [Aside.] Oh! yes,
JONATHAN
Ho, ho, ho! There the old man was even with her; he was up to the notch--ha, ha, ha!
JESSAMY
But, Mr. Jonathan, you must not laugh so. Why you ought to have tittered piano, and you have laughed fortissimo. Look here; you see these marks, A, B, C, and so on; these are the references to the other part of the book. Let us turn to it, and you will see the directions how to manage the muscles. This [turns over] was note D you blundered at.--You must purse the mouth into a smile, then titter, discov- ering the lower part of the three front upper teeth.
JONATHAN
How? read it again.
JESSAMY
"There was a certain man"--very well!--"who had a sad scolding wife,"--why don't you laugh?
JONATHAN
Now, that scolding wife sticks in my gizzard so pluckily that I can't laugh for the blood and nowns of me. Let me look grave here, and I'll laugh your belly full, where the old creature's a-dying.
JESSAMY
"And she asked her husband"--[Bell rings.] My master's bell! he's returned, I fear.--Here, Mr. Jona- than, take this gamut; and I make no doubt but with a few years' close application, you may be able to smile gracefully." [Exeunt severally.
SCENE II.
CHARLOTTE'S Apartment.
Enter MANLY.
MANLY
WHAT, no one at home? How unfortunate to meet the only lady my heart was ever moved by, to find her engaged to another, and confessing her partiality for me! Yet engaged to a man who, by her inti- mation, and his libertine conversation with me, I fear, does not merit her. Aye! there's the sting; for, were I assured that Maria was happy, my heart is not so selfish but that it would dilate in knowing it, even though it were with another. But to know she is unhappy!--I must drive these thoughts from me. Charlotte has some books; and this is what I believe she calls her little library. [Enters a closet.
Enter DIMPLE leading LETITIA.
LETITIA
And will you pretend to say now, Mr. Dimple, that you propose to break with Maria? Are not the banns published? Are not the clothes purchased? Are not the friends invited? In short, is it not a done affair?
DIMPLE
Believe me, my dear Letitia, I would not marry her.
LETITIA
Why have you not broke with her before this, as you all along deluded me by saying you would?
DIMPLE
Because I was in hopes she would, ere this, have broke with me.
LETITIA
You could not expect it.
DIMPLE
Nay, but be calm a moment; 'twas from my regard to you that I did not discard her.
LETITIA
Regard to me!
DIMPLE
Yes; I have done everything in my power to break with her, but the foolish girl is so fond of me that nothing can accomplish it. Besides, how can I offer her my hand when my heart is indissolubly engaged to you?
LETITIA
There may be reason in this; but why so attentive to Miss Manly?
DIMPLE
Attentive to Miss Manly! For heaven's sake, if you have no better opinion of my constancy, pay not so ill a compliment to my taste.
LETITIA
Did I not see you whisper her to-day?
DIMPLE
Possibly I might--but something of so very trifling a nature that I have already forgot what it was.
LETITIA
I believe she has not forgot it.
DIMPLE
My dear creature, how can you for a moment sup- pose I should have any serious thoughts of that trifling, gay, flighty coquette, that disagreeable--
Enter CHARLOTTE.
DIMPLE
My dear Miss Manly, I rejoice to see you; there is a charm in your conversation that always marks your entrance into company as fortunate.
LETITIA
Where have you been, my dear?
CHARLOTTE
Why, I have been about to twenty shops, turning over pretty things, and so have left twenty visits unpaid. I wish you would step into the carriage and whisk round, make my apology, and leave my cards where our friends are not at home; that, you know, will serve as a visit. Come, do go.
LETITIA
So anxious to get me out! but I'll watch you. [Aside.] Oh! yes,