The Dark Side of Disney - Leonard Kinsey [30]
How to Find Someone to Have Sex With:
If you’re single and on the prowl, let’s be honest: WDW probably isn’t the best vacation spot for random hookups. Go to Cancun or Daytona if that’s all you’re interested in. However, if you’re mainly looking for a fun and memorable vacation, with a little tail on the side, that can definitely be arranged.
Cast Members:
Throughout the year the parks are staffed by college students there for the College Program, where horny teenagers from all over the world come to work for a pittance, both because they love Disney, and because it looks pretty good on a resume. As of this writing, there were 8,000 students working for the Mouse each year via this program, with 4,000 on site at any given time!
The majority of these young cast members are placed in menial positions, such as serving/cooking food or cleaning bathrooms, so anything you can do to make their day a little brighter will definitely make you stand out from the throngs of irritable and annoying guests they usually deal with. If you see an attractive young cast member, by all means chat them up and see if you can get invited back to one of their off-site housing complexes (i.e., dorms) where all of the typical hijinks often associated with college housing occur on a daily basis. These apartments are definitely party central for college-age cast members, and getting invited here on a weekend is like hitting the mother load for a single looking for a hookup at WDW.
“It really is like a freshman dorm,” says a young female DCP attendee. “People have to work shitty shifts at all hours and all days of the week, and it’s tough to have a normal social life outside of the program. So everyone just hooks up with everyone else in the apartment complex; it’s very incestuous. After a few weeks we realized that the boys in the program were super immature, so my friends and I were definitely on the prowl in the parks for attractive guys. Since most guests treated us like crap, anyone who was even remotely nice stood out from the crowd. I’d give nice guys FastPasses with my number written on the back.”
Here’s an extra special tip: try to get invited to The Commons, which is where the international cast members live. For The World Showcase in Epcot, Disney tries to hire students who are actually from the countries represented in the individual pavilions, both to create an authentic experience for guests, and also so that the international cast members feel a little more comfortable in their environment, given that most of them are in the US for the first time.
As has been shown in numerous studies over the years, many other countries have much more liberal attitudes towards sex than the US does, so odds are that you have a better chance of a one-night stand with these cast members. Specifically, Scandanavian countries rank high on the promiscuity scale (and are also very friendly towards LGBT lifestyles), so it would behoove you to head on over to World Showcase and start hitting on the cast members at Norway!
Hot Norway Cast Members!
For more information on cast member debauchery, I’d recommend Mouse Tales by David Koenig, Cast Member Confidential by Chris Mitchell, and Kevin Yee’s MouseTrap.
Locals:
Unfortunately, one of the best spots to pickup locals is now shuttered. Pleasure Island was a strip of highly themed bars and dance clubs in the Downtown Disney area. The great thing about them is that you could easily pickup the type of person you were interested in by nature of the club that they frequented. If you wanted a good ole country boy or girl to line dance with, you went to the Wildhorse Saloon. If you wanted an 80s rock star with enough hairspray to punch a hole in the ozone layer you went to Rock N Roll Beach Club. BET Soundstage for the urban crowd, and 8Trax for the MILFs. Or the much celebrated Adventurers Club for the true Disney-aholics. These clubs were quite the experience, and definitely lent themselves to heavy drinking and random hookups, which is assumably why Disney shut them down. Major bummer!