The Deeper Meaning of Liff - Douglas Adams [10]
(Medical term) Suffering from selective memory loss. The virus causing this condition is thought to breed in the air-conditioning system of the White House.
Euphrates (yew-FRAY-teez) n.
The bullshit with which a chairman introduces a guest speaker.
Ewelme (yewlm) n.
The smile bestowed on you by an airline hostess.
Exeter (EKS-et-er) n.
All light household and electrical goods contain a number of vital components plus at least one exeter. If you’ve just mended a fuse, changed a bulb or fixed a blender, the exeter is the small plastic piece left over which means you have to undo everything and start all over again.
F
Falster (FAWL-ster) n.
A long-winded, dishonest and completely incredible excuse used when the truth would have been perfectly acceptable.
Famagusta (FAR-mah-GOOS-ter) n.
The draft that whistles between two bottoms that refuse to touch.
Farduckmanton (FAR-duk-man-tn) n.
(Archaic) An ancient edict, mysteriously omitted from the Domesday Book, requiring that the feeding of fowl on village ponds should be carried out equitably.
Farnham (FAR-num) n.
The feeling that you get at about four o’clock in the afternoon when you haven’t got enough done.
Farrancassidy (FA-ran-CASS-i-dee) n.
A long and ultimately unsuccessful attempt to undo someone’s bra.
Fentonadle (FEN-tun-ay-dul) vb.
To lay place settings with the knives and forks the wrong way around.
Ferfer (FER-fer) n.
One who is very excited that he’s had a better idea than the one you’ve just suggested.
Finuge (fin-YEWJ) vb.
In any division of foodstuffs equally between several people, to give yourself the extra slice left over.
Firebag (FYR-bag) n.
A remark intended to cue applause at a Republican convention..
Fiunary (fi-YEWN-er-ee) n.
The safe place you put something and forget where it was.
Fladderbister (FLAD-er-bis-ter) n.
That part of a raincoat that trails out of a car after you’ve closed the door on it.
Flagler (FLAY-gler) n.
Someone who always seems to disappear into shops when you’re walking along talking to him.
Flimby (FLIM-bee) n.
One of those irritating handleless slippery translucent plastic bags you get in supermarkets which, no matter how you hold them, always contrive to let something fall out.
Flodigarry (FLOD-ee-GAR-ee) n.
(Scots) An ankle-length oilskin worn by deep-sea herring fishermen in Nantucket and publicans in Glasgow.
Flums (flumz) pl. n.
Women who only talk to each other at parties.
Foffarty (FOF-er-tee) adj.
Unable to find the right moment to leave.
Foindle (FOYN-dul) vb.
To cut ahead in line very discreetly by working one’s way up the line without being spotted..
Foping (FOH-ping) ptcpl. vb.
Refusing to say what it is you’re looking so bloody wistful about.
Forsinain (FOR-sin-ayn) n.
(Archaic) The right of the lord of the manor to molest dwarves on their birthdays.
Fovant (FOV-unt) n.
A taxi driver’s gesture, a raised hand pointed out of the window which purports to mean “Thank you” but actually means “Fuck off out of my way.”
Fraddam (FRAD-dum) n.
The small awkward-shaped piece of cheese which remains after grating a large regular-shaped piece of cheese, and which enables you to grate your fingers.
Framlingham (FRAM-ling-um) n.
A kind of burglar alarm in common usage. It is cunningly designed so that it can ring at full volume in the street without apparently disturbing anyone.
Other types of framlinghams are burglar alarms fitted to business premises in residential areas, which go off as a matter of regular routine at 5:31 P.M. on a Friday evening and do not get turned off till 9:20 A.M. on Monday morning.
Frant (frant) n.
(Measure) The legal minimum distance between two trains on the District and Circle lines of the London Underground. A frant, which must be no less than 122 chains (or 8 leagues) long, is not connected in any way with the adjective “frantic,” which comes to us by a completely different route (as indeed do the trains).
Frating Green (FRAY-ting GREEN) adj.
The shade of green which is supposed to make you feel comfortable in hospitals,