The Deeper Meaning of Liff - Douglas Adams [9]
Duggleby (DUG-ul-bee) n.
The person in front of you in the supermarket queue who has just unloaded a bulging shopping cart onto the conveyor belt and is now in the process of trying to work out which pocket he left his checkbook in, and indeed which pair of trousers.
Duleek (doo-LEEK) n.
Sudden realization, as you lie in bed waiting for the alarm to go off, that it should have gone off an hour ago.
Duluth (de-LOOTH) adj.
The smell of a taxi out of which people have just got.
Dunbar (dun-BAR) n.
A highly specialized fiscal term used solely by turnstile operatives at the zoo. It refers to the variable amount of increase in the gate takings on a Sunday afternoon, caused by persons going to the zoo because they are in love and believe that the feeling of romance will be somehow enhanced by the smell of panther sweat and rank incontinence in the reptile house.
Dunboyne (dun-BOYN) n.
The realization that the train you have patiently watched pulling out of the station was the one you were meant to be on.
Duncraggon (DUN-KRAG-en) n.
The name of Charles Bronson’s retirement cottage.
Dungeness (DUN-jen-ESS) n.
The uneasy feeling that the plastic handles of the overloaded supermarket bag you are carrying are getting steadily longer.
Dunino (DUN-ee-noh) n.
Someone who always wants to do whatever you want to do.
Dunolly (dun-OLL-ee) n.
An improvised umbrella.
Dunster (DUN-ster) n.
A small child hired to bounce at dawn on the occupants of the spare bedroom in order to save on tea and alarm clocks.
Duntish (DUN-tish) adj.
Mentally incapacitated by a severe hangover.
E
Eads (EEDZ) pl. n.
The sludgy bits in the bottom of a trash can, underneath the actual trash can liner.
Eakring (EE-kring) ptcpl. vb.
Wondering what to do next when you’ve just stormed out of something.
East Wittering (eest WIT-er-ing) n.
The same as West Wittering (q.v.), only it’s you they’re trying to get away from.
Edgbaston (EDJ-bas-tn) n.
The spare seat cushion carried by a London bus, which is placed against the rear bumper when the driver wishes to indicate that the bus has broken down.
Elgin (EL-ghin) adj.
Thin and haggard as a result of strenuously trying to get healthy.
Elsrickle (ELZ-rik-ul) n.
A bead of sweat which runs down your bottom cleavage.
Ely (EE-le) n.
The first, tiniest inkling you get that something, somewhere, has gone terribly wrong.
Emsworth (EMZ-werth) n.
Measure of time and noiselessness defined as the moment between the doors of an elevator closing and its beginning to move. Scientists believe we spend up to one-fifth of our lives in elevators.
Enumclaw (EEN-um-klaw) n.
One of the initiation rituals of the Freemasons which they are no longer allowed to do.
Epping (EP-ing) ptcpl. vb.
The futile movements of forefingers and eyebrows used when failing to attract the attention of waiters and bartenders.
Epsom (EP-sum) n.
An entry in a diary (such as a date or a set of initials) or a name and address in your address book, which you haven’t the faintest idea what it’s doing there.
Epworth (EP-worth) n.
The precise value of the usefulness of epping (q.v.). It is a little-known fact that an earlier draft of Clark Gable’s final line of the film Gone With the Wind had him saying, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give an epworth,” the line being eventually changed on the grounds that it might not be understood in Iowa, or indeed anywhere.
Eriboll (EH-ri-bol) n.
A brown bubble of cheese containing gaseous matter which grows on Welsh rarebit. It was Sir Alexander Fleming’s study of eribolls that led, indirectly, to his discovery of the fact that he didn’t like Welsh rarebit much.
Esher (EESH-ah) n.
One of those who push taps installed in public washrooms enabling the user to wash his trousers without actually getting into the basin. The most powerful esher of recent years was “damped down” by Red Adair after an incredible sixty-eight days’ fight in Grand Central Station.
Essendine (ESS-en-dighn) n.
Long, slow sigh emitted by a fake leather armchair when sat on.
Esterhazy