The Deeper Meaning of Liff - Douglas Adams [12]
Glenties (GLEN-teez) pl. n.
Series of small steps by which someone who has made a serious tactical error in conversation or argument moves from complete disagreement to wholehearted agreement.
Glenwhilly (glen-WILL-i) n.
(Scots) A small tartan pouch worn beneath the kilt during the thistle harvest.
Glinsk (glinsk) n.
A hat that politicians buy to go to Russia in.
Glororum (GLOR-ror-um) n.
One who takes pleasure in informing others about his bowel movements.
Glossop (GLOSS-up) n.
A rogue blob of food. Glossops, which are generally steaming hot and highly adhesive, invariably fall off your spoon and onto the surface of your host’s highly polished antique rosewood dining table. If this has not, or may not have, been noticed by the company present, swanage (q.v.) may be employed.
Glud (glud) n.
The pinkish mulch found in the bottom of a lady’s handbag.
Glutt Lodge (GLUT LODJ) n.
The place where food can be stored after having a tooth extracted. Some Arabs can go without sustenance for up to six weeks on a full glutt lodge.
Godalming (GOD-ul-ming) n.
Wonderful rush of relief on discovering that the ely (q.v.) and the wembley (q.v.) were in fact false alarms.
Goginan (GOG-ee-nan) n.
The piece of adhesive tape on a nearsighted child’s spectacles.
Golant (GOL-unt) adj.
Blank, sly and faintly embarrassed. Pertaining to the expression seen on the face of someone who has clearly forgotten your name.
Gonnabarn (GON-er-barn) n.
An afternoon wasted on watching an old movie on TV.
Goole (gool) n.
The puddle on the bar into which the barman puts your change.
Goosecruives (GOOS-crives) pl. n.
(Archaic) A pair of wooden trousers worn by poultry keepers in the Middle Ages.
Goosnargh (GOO-snarg) n.
Something left over from preparing or eating a meal, which you store in the fridge despite the fact that you know full well that you will never ever use it.
Great Tosson (grayt TOSS-on) n.
A fat book containing four words and six cartoons which costs $20.00.
Great Wakering (grayt WAY-ker-ing) ptcpl. vb.
Panic which sets in when you badly need to go to the lavatory and cannot make up your mind about what book or magazine to take with you.
Greeley (GREE-lee) n.
Someone who continually annoys you by continually apologizing for annoying you.
Gress (gress) vb.
(Rare) To stick to the point during a family argument.
Gretna Green (GRET-nuh GREEN) adj.
A shade of green which makes you wish you’d painted whatever it was a different color.
Gribun (GREE-bun) n.
The person in a crisis who can always be relied on to make a good anecdote out of it.
Grimbister (GRIM-bis-ter) n.
Large body of cars on a highway all traveling at exactly the speed limit because one of them is a police car.
Grimmet (GRIM-et) n.
A small bush from which cartoon characters dangle over the edge of a cliff.
Grimsby (GRIMZ-bee) n.
A lump of something gristly and foul-tasting concealed in a mouthful of stew or pie. Grimsbies are sometimes merely the result of careless cookery, but more often they are placed there deliberately by Freemasons. Grimsbies can be purchased in bulk from any respectable Masonic butcher upon giving him the secret Masonic handbag. One is then placed in a guest’s food to see if he knows the correct Masonic method of dealing with it.
This is as follows: Remove the grimsby carefully with the silver tongs provided. Cross the room to your host, hopping on one leg, and ram the grimsby firmly up his nose, chanting, “Take that, you smug Masonic bastard.”
Grinstead (GRIN-sted) n.
The state of a woman’s clothing after she has been to powder her nose and has hitched up her tights over her skirt at the back, thus exposing her bottom, and has walked out without noticing it.
Grobister