The Deeper Meaning of Liff - Douglas Adams [19]
Misool (my-SOOL) n.
A mixture of toothpaste and saliva in a washbasin.
Moffat (MOF-fut) n.
That part of your coat which is designed to be sat on by the person next to you on a bus.
Mogumber (mug-UM-ber) n.
One who goes around complaining that he was cleverer ten years ago.
Mointy (MOYN-tee) n.
The last little tear before someone cheers up.
Moisie (MOY-zee) adj.
The condition of one’s face after performing cunnilingus.
Molesby (MOHLZ-bee) n.
The kind of family that drives to the beach and then sits in the car with all the windows closed, reading the TV Guide and wearing sidcups (q.v.).
Monks Toft (MONKS-toft) n.
The bundle of hair which is left after a monk has been tonsured, which he keeps tied up with a rubber band and uses for chasing ants away.
Morangie (mor-AN-jee) adj.
Faintly nervous that a particular post box “won’t work” when posting an important letter.
Motspur (MOT-SPER) n.
The fourth wheel of a supermarket cart which looks identical to the other three but renders the cart completely uncontrollable.
Mugeary (moo-GHEER-ee) n.
(Medical) The substance from which the unpleasant little yellow globules in the corners of a sleepy person’s eyes are made.
Multan (mool-TAHN) n.
An infidel who stains his face with walnut juice in order to enter Mecca or appear in a sitcom.
Mummelgum (MUM-ul-gum) n.
An unwholesome substance that clings to the fingers of successful tomb robbers.
Munderfield (MUN-der-feeld) n.
A meadow selected, while driving past, as being ideal for a picnic which, from a sitting position, turns out to be full of stubble, dust and cowpats and almost impossible to enjoy yourself in.
Munster (MUNS-ter) n.
A person who continually brings up the subject of property prices.
N
Naas (NAHS) n.
The wine-making region of Albania where most of the Aasleagh (q.v.) comes from.
Nacton (NAK-ton) n.
The ‘n’ with which cheap advertising copywriters replace the word and (as in “fish ‘n’ chips,” “mix ‘n’ match,” “assault ‘n’ battery”), in the mistaken belief that it is in some way chummy or endearing.
Nad (nad) n.
Measure defined as the distance between a driver’s outstretched fingertips and the ticket machine in an automatic parking lot. One nad = 18.4 cm.
Namber (NAM-ber) vb.
To hang around the table being too shy to sit next to the person you really want to.
Nanhoron (nan-HOR-on) n.
A tiny valve concealed in the inner ear which enables a deaf grandmother to converse quite normally when she feels like it, but which excludes completely anything which sounds like a request to help with setting the table.
Nantucket (nan-TUK-et) n.
The secret pocket that eats your train ticket.
Nantwich (NANT-wich) n.
A late-night snack, invented by the Earl of Nantwich, which consists of the dampest thing in the fridge. The Earl, who lived in a flat in Clapham, invented the nantwich to avoid having to go shopping.
Naples (NAY-puls) pl. n.
The tiny depressions in a piece of Ryvita.
Naugatuck (NAW-ger-tuk) n.
A plastic packet containing shampoo, mustard, etc., which is impossible to open except by biting off the corners.
Nazeing (NAY-zing) ptcpl. vb.
The rather unconvincing noises of pretended interest which an adult has to make when brought a small dull object for admiration by a child.
Neen Sollars (NEEN SOL-erz) pl. n.
Any ensemble of especially unflattering and peculiar garments worn by someone which tells you that they are right at the forefront of fashion.
Nempnett Thrubwell (NEMP-net THRUB-wel) n.
The feeling experienced when driving off for the very first time on a brand-new motorbike.
Nindigully (NIN-di GULL-i) n.
One who constantly needs to be repersuaded of something they’ve already agreed to.
Nipishish (ni-PISH-ish) adj.
Descriptive of a person walking barefoot on gravel.
Nith (nith) n.
The dark piece of velvet which has been brushed against the nap.
Noak Hoak (NOH-kohk) n.
A driver who indicates left and turns right.
Nogdam End (NOG-dam-END) n.
That part of a pair of scissors used to bang in a picture hook.