The Deeper Meaning of Liff - Douglas Adams [18]
One of those things that pulls the electric cord back into a vacuum cleaner.
M
Maaruig (Maa-aa-aa-aa-aaaaaaaaaargh-arrrgh-RUOOUOUOU-ighkh) n.
*4
The inexpressible horror experienced on waking up in the morning and remembering that you are still Scotty in Star Trek.
Macroy (ma-KROY) n.
An authoritative, confident opinion based on one you read in a newspaper.
Malaybalay (ma-LAY-ba-lay) adj.
All excited at suddenly remembering a wonderful piece of gossip that you want to pass on to somebody.
Malibu (MAL-i-boo) n.
The height by which the top of a wave exceeds the height to which you have rolled up your trousers.
Manitoba (man-i-TOH-bah) n.
A recourtship ritual. The tentative and reluctant touching of spouses’ toes in bed after a row.
Mankinholes (MANK-in-hohlz) pl. n.
The small holes in a loaf of bread which give rise to the momentary suspicion that something may have made its home within.
Mapledurham (MAY-pul DUR-um) n.
A hideous piece of chipboard veneer furniture bought in a suburban main-street furniture store and designed to hold exactly a year’s supply of Sunday color supplements.
Margaretting Tye (mah-gah-RET-ing-tigh) n.
The unexpectedly intimate bond that forms between two people you introduce to each other, who then exclude you.
Margate (MAHR-gayt) n.
A margate is a particular kind of commissionaire who sees you every day and is on cheerful Christian-name terms with you, then one day refuses to let you in because you’ve forgotten your identity card.
Market Deeping (MAHR-ket-DEE-ping) ptcpl. vb.
Stealing a single piece of fruit from a street stall.
Marlow (MAHR-loh) n.
The bottom drawer in the kitchen your mother keeps her paper bags in.
Marytavy (MAIR-ee-TAY-vee) n.
A person to whom, under dire injunctions of silence, you tell a secret which you wish to be far more widely known.
Masberry (MAS-ber-ee) n.
The sap of a giant Nigerian tree from which all cafeteria jams are made.
Massachusetts (MAS-a-CHOO-sets) pl. n.
Those items and particles which people who have just blown their noses are searching for when they look into their hankies.
Mavesyn Ridware (MAYV-sin RID-wair) n.
The stuff belonging to a mavis enderby (q.v.) that keeps turning up in odd corners of your house.
Mavis Enderby (MAY-vis EN-der-bee) n.
The almost completely forgotten girlfiend from your distant past for whom your wife has a completely irrational jealousy and hatred.
Maynooth (may-NOOTH) n.
One who recklessly tells total strangers to cheer up, it may never happen.
Meadle (MEE-dul) vb.
To blunder around a woman’s breasts in a way that does absolutely nothing for her.
Meath (meeth) adj.
Warm and very slightly clammy. Descriptive of the texture of your hands after you’ve tried to dry them on a hot-air-blowing automatic hand-drying machine.
Melbury Bubb (MEL-ber-ee BUB) n.
A TV celebrity who rises to fame by being extremely camp.
Melcombe Regis (MEL-kum REE-jis) n.
The name of the style of decoration used in cocktail lounges in mock-Tudor hotels in Los Angeles.
Melton Constable (MEL-tn KUN-stab-ul) n.
A patent antiwrinkle cream which policemen wear to keep themselves looking young.
Memphis (MEM-fis) n.
The little bits of yellow fluff which get trapped in the hinge of the windshield wipers after polishing the car with a new duster.
Memus (MEE-mus) n.
The little trick people use to remind themselves which is left and which is right.
Meuse (MURZ) n.
A period of complete silence on the radio, which means that it must be tuned to NPR.
Millinocket (MIL-in-ok-et) n.
The thing that rattles around inside an aerosol can.
Milwaukee (mil-WAW-kee) n.
The melodious whistling, chanting and humming tone of the milwaukee can be heard whenever a public lavatory is entered. It is the way the occupants of the cubicles have of telling you there’s no lock on their door and you can’t come in.
Mimbridge (MIM-bridj) n.
That which two very boring people have in common which enables you to get away from them.
Minchinhampton (MIN-chin HAMP-tn) n.
The expression on a man’s face when he has just zipped