The Deeper Meaning of Liff - Douglas Adams [21]
Technical term for the fifth take of an orgasm scene during the making of a pornographic film.
Paradip (PA-ra-dip) n.
Polite word for the act of washing one’s genitals in the washbasin.
Parbold (PAH-bohld) adj.
Nearly brave enough to dive into a cold swimming pool on a windy day.
Parrog (PAR-rog) n.
God knows. Could be some sort of bird, I suppose.
Pathstruie (pahth-STROO-ee) adj.
The condition of a parish church after a heavy Saturday afternoon’s wedlock.
Patkai Bum (PAT-kigh BUM) n.
Mysterious illness that afflicts recently deposed heads of state and means they aren’t well enough to stand trial.
Patney (PAT-nee) n.
Something your next-door neighbor makes and insists that you try on your sausages.
Peebles (PEE-buls) pl. n.
Small, carefully rolled pellets of skegness (q.v.).
Peening Quarter (PEE-ning KWAW-ter) n.
That area of a discotheque where single men lounge about trying to look groovy about not having the courage to ask a girl to dance.
Pelutho (pel-OOTH-oh) n.
A South American ball game. The balls are whacked against a brick wall with a stout wooden bat until the prisoner confesses.
Pen tre-tafarn-y-fedw (PEN TRET-ah FAHN ee FED-oo) n.
*5
Welsh word which literally translates as “leaking-ballpoint-by-the-glass-hole-of-the-clerk-of-the-bank-has-been-taken-to-another-place-leaving-only-the-special-inkwell-and-three-inches-of-tin-chain.”
Penge (PENJ) n.
The expanding slotted arm on which a cuckoo comes out of a cuckoo clock.
Peoria (pee-OR-ee-ah) n.
The fear of peeling too few potatoes.
Percyhorner (PER-see HAW-ner) n.
(English public-school slang) A prefect whose duty it is to surprise new boys at the urinal and humiliate them in a manner of his choosing.
Perranzabuloe (per-an ZAB-ew-loh) n.
One of those spray things used to wet ironing with.
Peru (per-ROO) n.
The expression of innocent alarm seen on the face of someone guiltily surprised in the middle of a perusal.
Peterculter (PEE-ter KUL-ter) n.
Someone you don’t want to be friends with who rings you up at eight-monthly intervals and suggests you get together soon.
Pevensey (PEV-en-zee) n.
(Archaic) The right to collect shingle from the king’s foreshore.
Phillack (FIL-ak) n.
A Gucci belt pouch for carrying condoms in.
Pibsbury (PIBZ-ber-ee) n.
The little hole in the end of a toothbrush.
Picklenash (PIK-ul-nash) n.
The detritus found in wineglasses on the morning after a party.
Piddletrenthide (PID-ul TRENT-highd) n.
A trouser stain caused by a wimbledon (q.v.). Not to be confused with a botley (q.v.).
Pidney (PID-ni) n.
The amount of coffee in the bottom of a jar which doesn’t amount to a spoonful.
Pimlico (PIM-li-koh) n.
Small odd-shaped piece of plastic or curious metal component found in the bottom of a kitchen rummage drawer when spring cleaning or looking for Scotch tape.
Pimperne (PIM-pern) n.
One of those rubber nodules found on the underneath side of a lavatory seat.
Pingandy (pin-GAN-dee) n.
An extremely neat old person.
Pingaring (PING-a-ring) n.
That part of an oven that nobody wants or knows how to turn off.
Pitlochry (pit-LOKH-ree) n.
The background gurgling noise heard in fast-food restaurants caused by people trying to get the last bubbles out of the milk-shakes by slurping loudly through their straws.
Pitroddie (pit-ROD-ee) n.
A middle- or upper-class person who affects a working-class style of speech.
Pitsligo (pit-SLIGH-goh) n.
Part of traditional mating rite. During the first hot day of spring, all the men in the subway start giving up their seats to ladies and strap-hanging. The purpose of pitsligo is to allow them to demonstrate their manhood by displaying the wet patches under their arms.
Pleeley (PLEE-lee) adj.
Descriptive of a drunk person’s attempts to be endearing.
Plenmeller (plen-MELL-er) n.
The nonwaterproof material that raincoats are made out of.
Pleven (PLEV-un) n.
One more, or one less, than the number required.
Plumgarths (PLUM-garths) pl. n.
The corrugations on the ankles caused by wearing tight socks.
Pluvigner (PLOO-vig-ner) n.
The minuscule hole in the