The Deeper Meaning of Liff - Douglas Adams [26]
A genital aftershave which is supposed to be catching on in the professional tennis circuit.
Spurger (SPUR-jer) n.
One who in answer to the question “How are you?” actually tells you.
Spuzzum (SPUZ-um) n.
A weewee that resembles a lawn sprinkler, caused by a shred of tissue paper covering the exit hole of the penis.
Squibnocket (SKWIB-nok-et) n.
That part of a car, the unexpected need for the replacement of which causes garage bills to be four times larger than the estimate.
Stagno di Gumbi (STAG-noh-dee-GOOM-bee) n.
(Italian) Pissed off with waiting for a bus to arrive, a waiter to bring a menu or a genius to finish painting your ceiling.
Staplow (STAP-loh) n.
A telephone number that you now can’t find anywhere because two years ago you swore you would never speak to the person again.
Stebbing (STEB-ing) n.
The erection you cannot conceal because you are not wearing a jacket.
Steenhuffel (STEEN-huf-ul) n.
One who is employed by a trade delegation or negotiating team to swell the numbers and make it look impressive when they walk out. There are currently 25,368 steenhuffels working at the UN in New York.
Stelling Minnis (STEL-ing MIN-is) n.
A traditional street dance. This lovely old gigue can be seen at any time of the year in the streets of the City of London or the courts of the Old Bailey. Wherever you see otherwise perfectly staid groups of bankers, barristers or ordinary members of the public moving along in a slightly syncopated way, you may be sure that a stelling minnis is taking place. The phenomenon is caused by the fact that the dancers are trying not to step on the cracks in the pavement in case the bears get them.
Stibb (STIB) n.
An unwelcome poke in the ribs by someone who hardly knows you.
“Mr Robert Maxwell stibbed Her Royal Highness repeatedly with his huby (q.v.).”
-The Times
Stibbard (STIB-ard) n.
The invisible brake pedal on the passenger’s side of the car.
Stody (STOH-dee) n.
The small drink that someone nurses for hours so they can stay in the pub.
Stoke Poges (STOHK POH-jiz) n.
The tapping movements of an index finger on glass made by a person futilely attempting to communicate with either a tropical fish or a post office clerk.
Stowting (STOWT-ing) ptcpl. vb.
Feeling a pregnant woman’s tummy.
Strassgang (STRAHS-gang) n.
German word for the group of workers hired to lunch inside a string of highway cones, or skagway (q.v.).
Strelley (STREL-ee) n.
Long strip of paper or tape that has got tangled around the wheel of something.
Strubby (STRUB-i) adj.
Attractively miniature.
Sturry (STUH-ri) n.
A token run. Pedestrians who have chosen to cross a road immediately in front of an approaching vehicle generally give a little wave and break into a sturry. This gives the impression of hurrying without having any practical effect on their speed whatsoever.
Stutton (STUT-on) n.
Tiny melted plastic nodule which fails to help fasten a duvet cover.
Suckley Knowl (SUK-lee-nohl) n.
A plumber’s assistant who never knows where the actual plumber is.
Surby (SER-bee) adj.
Insolently polite, as of policemen who have stopped a motorist.
Sutton and Cheam (SUT-un-and-CHEEM) Nouns
Sutton and cheam are the two kinds of dirt into which all dirt is divided. “Sutton” is the dark sort that always gets onto light-colored things, and “cheam” the light-colored sort that always clings onto dark items. Anyone who has ever found peanut butter stains on a dress-shirt, or sea gull goo on a tuxedo, (a) knows all about sutton and cheam, and (b) is going to some very curious dinner parties.
Swaffham Bulbeck (SWAF-um BUL-bek) n.
An entire picnic lunch spent fighting off wasps.
Swanage (SWON-idj) pl. n.
A series of diversionary tactics used when trying to cover up the existence of a glossop (q.v.), such as uttering a high-pitched laugh and pointing out of the window.
Swanibost (SWON-i-bost) adj.
Completely shagged out after a hard day having income tax explained to you.
Swefling (SWEF-ling) ptcpl.vb.
Using a special attachment to vacuum a sofa.
Symond’s Yat (SIGH-mondz