The Deeper Meaning of Liff - Douglas Adams [25]
One who draws penises on posters of women in the subway.
Skulamus (SKUL-a-mus) n.
Someone who is obviously not doing what he went into the lavatory for.
Slabberts (SLAB-erts) pl. n.
People who say, “Can I have some more juice?” when they mean gravy.
Slettnut (SLET-nut) n.
Something that goes round and round but won’t come off.
Slipchitsy (SLIP-chit-si) n.
Someone who takes the morning off work in order to sign on.
Slobozia (sloh-BOH-zee-ah) n.
A chronic inability to pick up underpants.
Slogarie (sloh-GAR-ee) n.
Hillwalking dialect for the stretch of concealed rough moorland which lies between what you thought was the top of the hill and what actually is.
Sloinge (SLOYNJ) n.
A post-wank tristesse.
Sloothby (SLOOTH-bee) adj.
Conspicuously inconspicuous—as of a major celebrity entering a restaurant with a great display of being incognito.
Slubbery (SLUB-er-ee) n.
The gooey drips of wax that dribble down the sides of a candle.
Sluggan (SLUG-en) n.
A lurid facial bruise that everyone politely omits to mention because it’s obvious that you had a punch-up with your spouse last night—but which was actually caused by walking into a door. It is useless to volunteer the true explanation because nobody will believe it.
Slumbay (SLUM-bay) n.
The cigarette end someone discovers in the mouthful of lager they have just swigged from a can at the end of a party.
Smarden (SMAR-den) vb.
To keep your mouth shut by smiling determinedly through your teeth. Smardening is largely used by people trying to give the impression that they’re enjoying a story they’ve heard at least six times before.
Smearisary (SMEER-is-air-ee) n.
The part of a kitchen wall reserved for the schooltime daubings of small children.
Smisby (SMIZ-bee) n.
The correct name for a junior apprentice greengrocer whose main duty is to arrange the fruit so that the bad side is underneath. From the name of a character not in Dickens.
Smyrna (SMUR-nah) n.
The expression on the face of one whose joke has gone down rather well.
Sneem (SNEEM) n.
Particular kind of frozen smile bestowed on a small child by a parent in mixed company when the question “Mummy, what’s this?” appears to require the answer, “Er…it’s a condom, darling.”
Snitter (SNIT-er) n.
One of the rather unfunny newspaper clippings pinned to an office wall, the humor of which is supposed to derive from the fact that the headline contains a name similar to that of one of the occupants of the office.
Snitterby (SNIT-er-bee) n.
Someone who pins up snitters (q.v.).
Snitterfield (SNIT-er-feeld) n.
Office bulletin board on which snitters (q.v.), cards saying “You don’t have to be crazy to work here, but if you are, it helps!!!” and smutty postcards from Ibiza get pinned up by snitterbies (q.v.).
Snoul (SNOOL) n.
The third recurrence of a winter cold.
Snover (SNOH-ver) n.
One who is reduced to drinking coffee from his egg-cups in order to put off the dishwashing just one more week.
Solent (SOH-lent) adj.
Descriptive of the state of serene self-knowledge reached through drink.
Soller (SOLL-er) vb.
To break something in two while testing if you glued it together properly.
Sompting (SOMP-ting) n.
The practice of dribbling involuntarily into one’s own pillow.
Sotterley (SOTT-er-lee) n.
Uncovered bit between two shops with awnings, which you have to cross when it’s raining.
Southwick (SOWTH-wik) n.
A left-handed wanker.
Spiddle (SPID-ul) vb.
To fritter away a perfectly good life pretending to develop film projects.
Spinwam (SPIN-wam) n.
The toxic foam that clings to rocky foreshores.
Spittal of Glenshee (SPIT-ul ov glen-SHEE) n.
That which has to be cleaned off castle floors in the morning after a bagpipe-playing contest or vampire attack.
Spoffard (SPOF-ard) n.
A congressman whose contribution to politics is limited to saying “Hear, hear.”
Spofforth (SPOF-orth) vb.
To tidy up a room before the cleaning lady arrives.
Spokane (spoh-KANE) vb.
To remove precious objects from a room before a party.
Spreakley (SPREEK-lee) adj.
Irritatingly cheerful in the morning.
Spruce