The Deeper Meaning of Liff - Douglas Adams [24]
The absurd flap of hair a vain and balding man grows long above one ear to comb it plastered over the top of his head to the other ear.
Screeb (SKREEB) n.
To make the noise of a nylon windbreaker rubbing against a pair of corduroy trousers.
Screggan (SKREG-en) n.
(Banking) The crossed-out bit caused by people putting the wrong year on their checks all through January.
Scremby (SKREM-bee) n.
The dehydrated felt-tip pen attached by a string to the “Don’t Forget” board in the kitchen, which has never worked in living memory but which no one can be bothered to throw away.
Scridain (skri-DAYN) n.
The tone that Gore Vidal adopts with interviewers.
Scroggs (SKROGZ) n.
The stout pubic hairs which protrude from your helping of moussaka in a cheap Greek restaurant.
Scronkey (SKRON-kee) n.
Something that hits the window as a result of a violent sneeze.
Scugog (SKOO-gog) n.
One whose mouth actually hangs open when watching something mildly interesting on the other side of the street.
Scullet (SKUL-et) n.
The last teaspoon in the washing up.
Scurlage (SKER-lidj) n.
A duck web of snot caused by sneezing into your hand.
Seattle (see-AT-ul) vb.
To make a noise like a train going along.
Shalunt (shah-LUNT) n.
One who wears Trinidad and Tobago T-shirts on the beach in Bali to prove he didn’t just win the holiday in a competition or anything.
Shanklin (SHANK-lin) n.
The hoop of skin around a single slice of salami.
Sheepy Magna (SHEEP-ee MAG-nah) n.
One who emerges unexpectedly from the wrong bedroom in the morning.
Sheppey (SHEPP-i) n.
Measure of distance (equal to approximately seven-eighths of a mile), defined as the closest distance at which sheep remain picturesque.
Shifnal (SHIF-nal) n.
An awkward shuffling walk caused by two or more people in a hurry accidentally getting in the same segment of a revolving door.
Shimpling (SHIMP-ling) ptcpl. vb.
Lying about the state of your life in order to cheer up your parents.
Shirmers (SHER-merz) pl. n.
Tall young men who stand around smiling at weddings as if to suggest that they know the bride rather well.
Shoeburyness (SHOO-bree-nes) n.
The vague uncomfortable feeling you get when sitting on a seat that is still warm from somebody else’s bottom.
Shottle (SHOT-ul) n.
One of those tubes made of yellow plastic that builders use to get rubble off the top floor of a house.
Shrenk (SHRENK) n.
A fold in a pair of stockings that aren’t tight enough for a pair of thin legs.
Sicamous (SIK-a-mus) adj.
Perfectly willing to appear on the Jay Leno show.
Sidcup (SID-kup) n.
One of those hats made from tying knots in the corners of a handkerchief.
Sigglesthorne (SIG-ulz-thorn) n.
Anything used in lieu of a toothpick.
Silesia (sigh-LEE-zee-ah) n.
(Medical) The inability to remember, at the critical moment, which is the better side of the boat to be seasick off.
Silloth (SILL-oth) n.
Something that was sticky, and is now furry, found on the carpet under the sofa on the morning after a party.
Simprim (SIM-prim) n.
The little movement of false modesty by which a woman with a cavernous visible cleavage pulls her skirt down over her knees.
Sittingbourne (SITT-ing-bawrn) n.
One of those conversations where both people are waiting for the other one to shut up so they can get on with their bit.
Skagway (SKAG-way) n.
Sudden outbreak of cones strung on a highway.
Skannerup (SKAN-er-oop) n.
A Swedish casserole made of elk livers.
Skegness (skeg-NES) n.
Nose excreta of a malleable consistency.
Skellister (SKEL-is-ter) n.
A very, very old solicitor.
Skellow (SKEL-low) adj.
Descriptive of the satisfaction experienced when looking at a really good dry-stone wall.
Skenfrith (SKEN-frith) n.
The flakes of athlete’s foot found inside socks.
Sketty (SKETT-i) n.
Apparently self-propelled little dance a beer glass performs in its own puddle.
Skibbereen (SKIB-er-EEN) n.
The noise made by a sunburned thigh leaving a plastic chair.
Skoonspruit (SKOON-sproo-it) n.
The tiny garden sprinkler thing your mouth sometimes does for no apparent reason.
Skrubburdnut (SKRUB-urd-nut)