The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease [0]
Why Men Don't Listen and
Women Can't Read Maps
Why Men Lie and Women Cry
Why Men Can Only Do One Thing at a
Time and Women Never Stop Talking
The Little Book of Men and Women
This book is dedicated to all people who have good eyesight but who cannot see.
CONTENTS
Acknowledgments
Introduction
All Things Are Not What They Seem
How Well Do You Know the Back of Your Hand?
How Well Can You Spot Body-Language Contradictions?
How We Wrote This Book
Your Body-Language Dictionary
1. Understanding the Basics
In the Beginning…
Why It's Not What You Say
How Body Language Reveals Emotions and Thoughts
Why Women Are More Perceptive
What Brain Scans Show
How Fortune-Tellers Know So Much
Inborn, Genetic, or Learned Culturally?
Some Basic Origins
Universal Gestures
Three Rules for Accurate Reading
Why It Can Be Easy to Misread
Why Kids Are Easier to Read
Can You Fake It?
True-Life Story: The Lying Job Applicant
How to Become a Great Reader
2. The Power Is in Your Hands
How to Detect Openness
Intentional Use of the Palms to Deceive
The Law of Cause and Effect
Palm Power
Our Audience Experiment
An Analysis of Handshake Styles
Who Should Reach First?
How Dominance and Control Are Communicated
The Submissive Handshake
How to Create Equality
How to Create Rapport
How to Disarm a Power Player
The Cold, Clammy Handshake
Gaining the Left-Side Advantage
When Men and Women Shake Hands
The Double-Hander
Handshakes of Control
The Blair-Bush Power Game
The Solution
The World's Eight Worst Handshakes
The Arafat-Rabin Handshake
Summary
3. The Magic of Smiles and Laughter
Smiling Is a Submission Signal
Why Smiling Is Contagious
How a Smile Tricks the Brain
Practicing the Fake Smile
Smugglers Smile Less
Five Common Types of Smiles
Why Laughter Is the Best Medicine
Why You Should Take Laughter Seriously
Why We Laugh and Talk, but Chimps Don't
How Humor Heals
Laughing Till You Cry
How Jokes Work
The Laughter Room
Smiles and Laughter Are a Way of Bonding
Humor Sells
The Permanent Down-Mouth
Smiling Advice for Women
Laughter in Love
Summary
4. Arm Signals
Arm Barrier Signals
Why Crossed Arms Can Be Detrimental
Yes… but I'm Just “Comfortable”
Gender Differences
Crossed-Arms-on-Chest
The Solution
Reinforced Arm-Crossing
Arm-Gripping
The Boss vs. The Staff
Getting the Thumbs-Up
Hugging Yourself
How the Rich and Famous Reveal Their Insecurity
The Coffee Cup Barrier
The Power of Touch
Touch Their Hand, Too
Summary
5. Cultural Differences
We Were Having Pizza at the Time
Take the Cultural Test
Why We're All Becoming American
Cultural Basics Are the Same Almost Everywhere
Greeting Differences
When One Culture Encounters Another
The English Stiff-Upper-Lip
The Japanese
“You Dirty, Disgusting Pig!”—Nose-Blowing
The Three Most Common Cross-Cultural Gestures
To Touch or Not to Touch?
How to Offend Other Cultures
Summary
6. Hand and Thumb Gestures
How the Hands Talk
On the One Hand…
On the Other Hand, Gestures Improve Recall
Rubbing the Palms Together
Thumb and Finger Rub
Hands Clenched Together
The Steeple
Using Steepling to Win at Chess
Summary
The Face Platter
Holding Hands Behind the Back
Thumb Displays
Thumbs-Protruding-from-Coat-Pocket
Summary
7. Evaluation and Deceit Signals
Lying Research
The Three Wise Monkeys
How the Face Reveals the Truth
Women Lie the Best and That's the Truth
Why It's Hard to Lie
Eight of the Most Common Lying Gestures
Evaluation and Procrastination Gestures
Boredom
Evaluation Gestures
The Lying Interviewee
Chin Stroking
Stalling Clusters
Head Rubbing and Slapping Gestures
Why Bob Always Lost at Chess
The Double Meaning
8. Eye Signals
The Dilating Pupils
Take the Pupil Test
Women Are Better at It, as Usual
Giving Them the Eye
The Eyebrow Flash
Eye Widening
The “Looking Up” Cluster
How Men's Fires Get Lit
Gaze Behavior—Where Do You Look?
How to Keep Eye Contact in a Nudist Colony
How to Grab a Man's Attention
Most Liars Look You in the Eye
How to