The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease [113]
Competitive/Defensive Position
In business scenarios, 56 percent of respondents saw this as a competitive position, but in social situations, such as a restaurant, 35 percent saw it as conversational. It's the most commonly observed restaurant sitting position on the dating scene, but this is mainly because waiters seat people at tables this way. It works with a couple in a restaurant because it allows good eye contact while subtly highlighting gender differences by being “opposite.” In a work environment, however, this position is taken by people who are either competing with each other or one is reprimanding the other. It can also be used by A to establish a superior/subordinate role when it's used on A's territory.
Why Some Bosses Are Disliked
We found that, in business scenarios, people speak in shorter sentences from the Competitive/Defensive Position, can recall less of what was said, and are more likely to argue.
A. G. White conducted an experiment in doctors' offices that showed that the presence or absence of a desk had a significant effect on whether a patient was at ease or not. Only 10 percent of patients were perceived to be at ease when the doctor's desk was present and the doctor sat behind it. This figure increased to 55 percent when the desk was absent. We conducted an experiment (Pease & Pease, 1990) where we asked 244 senior managers and 127 lower/middle managers to sketch the furniture arrangement they preferred to have in their offices when relocating to a new building. A full 76 percent of the senior managers (185) drew a sketch placing their desks between themselves and their subordinates. Only 50 percent of the lower managers (64) did this, and male managers were twice as likely as females to put the desk between them and others.
The most interesting finding was how other staff members perceived the managers who did not have their desks placed like a barrier. These managers were described by their staff as more fair-minded, more prepared to listen to their ideas without criticism, and less likely to show favoritism to others.
Sitting directly opposite others creates bad vibes.
If B is seeking to persuade A, the Competitive Position reduces the chance of a successful negotiation, unless B is deliberately sitting opposite as part of a preplanned strategy. For example, it may be that A is a manager who has to reprimand employee B, and the Competitive Position can add weight to the reprimand. On the other hand, if B wants to make A feel superior, B can deliberately sit directly opposite A.
Whatever business you're in, if it involves dealing with people you are in the influencing business and your objective should always be to see the other person's point of view, to put him at ease, and to make him feel right about dealing with you; the Competitive Position does not lead to that end. More cooperation will be gained from the Corner and Cooperative Positions than will ever be achieved from the Competitive Position. Conversations are significantly shorter and more pointed in the Competitive Position.
The Independent Position (B4)
This is taken by people when they don't want to interact with each other. It occurs between strangers in places such as libraries, park benches, or restaurants and is the position we refer to when we say we are “diametrically opposite” to an idea. To 42 percent of our respondents, the message it conveyed was a lack of interest and it was read by some as showing indifference or hostility This position should be avoided where open discussions between people are your goal.
The Independent Position
tells others you don't want
to get involved
It's Not What You Say, It's Where You Sit
As we've said, rectangular tables create a competitive or defensive relationship between people because each person has equal space, equal frontage, and separate edges. It lets everyone take a position on a given subject and allows