The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease [114]
Historically, the person on the right is less likely to be able to successfully stab you with their left hand, hence the “right-hand man” is more favored and others subconsciously credit the right-hand person with having more power than the one on the left side. Most resistance comes from the person seated directly opposite in the “gunslinger” position and, when four people are seated, everyone has someone sitting opposite.
Everyone gets to sit in both the Competitive and Corner Positions on a square table
King Arthur's Concept
King Arthur used the Round Table as an attempt to give each of his knights an equal amount of authority and status. A round table creates an atmosphere of relaxed informality and is ideal for promoting discussion among people who are of equal status, as each person can claim the same amount of table territory The circle itself has become a worldwide symbol of unity and strength and simply sitting in a circle promotes the same effect. Unfortunately, King Arthur was unaware that if the status of one person is higher than the others in the group it completely alters the dynamics of group power. The king held the most power and this meant that the knights seated on either side of him were silently granted the next highest amount of power, the one on his right having more than the one on his left. The power then diminished relative to the distance that each knight was seated away from the king.
A high-status person at a round table distorts the power distribution
The knight seated directly opposite King Arthur was, in effect, in the Competitive/Defensive Position and was likely to be the one to give the most trouble. Sixty-eight percent of respondents saw the person sitting directly opposite them on a round table as the one most likely to argue or be competitive. Fifty-six percent also said that sitting opposite could be used to show non-involvement or lack of interest, as in a public library. When sitting directly beside another person, 71 percent said they were either having a friendly conversation or cooperating.
Many of today's business executives use rectangular, square, and round tables. The rectangular desk, which is usually the work desk, is used for business activity, brief conversations, reprimands, and so on. The round table, often a coffee table with wraparound seating or lower chairs, is used to create an informal relaxed atmosphere or to persuade. It is also often found in families that practice democracy or don't have a dominant parent. Square tables belong in a canteen.
Keeping Two People Involved
Let's assume that you, person C, are going to talk with persons A and B, and that you are all sitting in a triangular position at a round table. Assume that person A is talkative and asks many questions and that person B remains silent throughout. When A asks you a question, how can you answer him and carry on a conversation without making B feel excluded? Use this simple but effective inclusion technique: when A asks a question, look at him as you begin to answer, then turn your head toward B, then back to A, then to B again until you make your final statement, looking finally at A again as you finish your sentence.
This technique lets B feel involved in the conversation and is particularly useful if you need to have B on your side with you.
Keeping both parties involved when answering a question
Rectangular Board Tables
On a rectangular table, it seems to be a cross-cultural norm that position A has always commanded the most influence, even when all people at the table are of equal status. In a meeting of people of equal status the person sitting at position A will have the most influence, assuming that he doesn't have his back to the door.