The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease [23]
8. The Dutch Treat
Credibility Rating: 2/10.
Being somewhat vegetarian in approach, this handshake has its origins in the Netherlands, where a person can be accused of “Geeft 'n hand als bosje worteljes,” meaning “Giving a handshake like a bunch of carrots.” It's a distant relative of the Wet Fish, but stiffer and less clammy to the touch.
The Dutch Treat
It has been superseded in younger generations by De Slappe Vaatdoek, or Sloppy Dishcloth. This needs no further explanation.
The Arafat-Rabin Handshake
The photograph below shows the late Israeli Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin and Palestinian Chairman Yassar Arafat shaking hands at the White House in 1993 and it reveals several interesting attitudes. President Clinton is, in fact, the key figure in the shot because of his unobstructed center position, extra height, and Arms-Spread-Open-Palms gesture, reminiscent of a god presiding over his people. Clinton's Half-Moon, Lips-Sucking smile shows the emotional restraint he either felt or faked.
Yitzhak Rabin (left) holds his ground using a Stiff-Arm Thrust to resist being
pulled forward as Yassar Arafat attempts a Bent-Arm-Pull-In
In this famous shot, both men keep their feet firmly planted on the ground and attempt to force the other out of his territory. Yitzhak Rabin assumed the power position on the left side of the picture and used a Stiff-Arm Thrust and leaned forward to keep Arafat out of his personal space, while Yassar Arafat stood absolutely erect and attempted to counter with a Bent-Arm-Pull-In.
Summary
Few people have any idea how they come across to others in initial meetings, despite the fact that most of us are aware that the first few minutes of that meeting can make or break a relationship. Take the time to practice handshake styles with your friends and colleagues and you can quickly learn how to deliver a positive handshake every time. Keeping the palms held vertical and matching the other person's grip is usually perceived as a 10/10 handshake.
Chapter 3
THE MAGIC OF SMILES
AND LAUGHTER
What makes this one of the world's most irresistible icons?
Bob gazed across the room and locked eyes with an attractive brunette. She seemed to smile at him and, not being slow on the uptake, he swiftly crossed the room and began a conversation with her. She didn't seem to talk much but she was still smiling at him, so he persisted. One of his female friends sauntered past and whispered, “Forget it, Bob… she thinks you're a jerk.” He was stunned. But she was still smiling at him! As with most men, Bob didn't understand the negative significance of the tight-lipped, no-teeth-visible female smile.
Children were often told by their grandmothers to “put on a happy face,” “wear a big smile,” and “show your pearly whites” when meeting someone new because Grandma knew, on an intuitive level, it would produce a positive reaction in others.
The first recorded scientific studies into smiling were in the early part of the nineteenth century when French scientist Guillaume Duchenne de Boulogne used electrodiagnostics and electrical stimulation to distinguish between the smile of real enjoyment and other kinds of smiling. He analyzed the heads of people executed by guillotine to study how the face muscles worked. He pulled face muscles from many different angles to catalog and record which muscles caused which smiles. He discovered that smiles are controlled by two sets of muscles: the zygomatic major muscles, which run down the side of the face and connect to the corners of the mouth, and the orbicularis oculi, which pull the eyes back. The zygomatic majors pull the mouth back to expose the teeth and enlarge the cheeks, while the orbicularis oculi make the eyes narrow and cause “crow's feet.” These muscles are important to understand because the zygomatic majors are consciously controlled—in other words, they are used to produce false smiles of fake enjoyment to try to appear