Online Book Reader

Home Category

The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease [34]

By Root 675 0
and is clustered with other positive gestures, it signals you can move comfortably into asking the person for a commitment. On the other hand, if at the close of the presentation the other person takes the Fists-Clenched-Arms-Crossed position and has a poker face, you can be inviting trouble by attempting to get a yes. It would be better to ask questions to try to uncover the person's objections. When someone says no to a proposal, it can become difficult to change their mind without looking as if you're aggressive. The ability to read body language allows you to “see” a negative decision before it is verbalized and gives you time to take an alternative course of action.

When you can see a no before it's said,

you can try a different approach.

People carrying weapons or wearing armor seldom use arm-cross gestures because their weapon or armor provides sufficient body protection. Police officers who wear guns, for example, rarely cross their arms unless they are standing guard and they normally use the fist-clenched position to communicate clearly that nobody is permitted to pass where they are standing.

Hugging Yourself


When we were children our parents or caregivers embraced or hugged us when we faced distressing or tense circumstances. As adults, we often attempt to re-create those same comforting feelings when we find ourselves in stressful situations. Rather than take a full arm-cross gesture, which can tell everyone we are fearful, women often substitute a subtler version—a Partial-Arm-Cross, where one arm swings across the body to hold or touch the other arm to form the barrier and it looks as if she is hugging herself. Partial arm barriers are often seen in meetings where a person may be a stranger to the group or is lacking in self-confidence. Any woman taking this position in a tense situation will usually claim she is just being “comfortable.”

Holding herself like her mother held her when she was a child

Men use a partial arm barrier known as Holding-Hands-With-Yourself; it's commonly used by men who stand in front of a crowd to receive an award or give a speech. Also known as the Broken Zipper Position, it makes a man feel secure because he can protect his “crown jewels” and can avoid the consequences of receiving a nasty frontal blow.

The Broken Zipper Position

It's the same position men take in a line at a soup kitchen or to receive social-security benefits and reveals their dejected, vulnerable feelings. It re-creates the feeling of having someone else hold your hand. Adolf Hitler used it regularly in public to mask the sexual inadequacy he felt because of having only one testicle. It's possible that evolution shortened men's arms to allow them to take this protective position because when our closest primate cousins, the chimpanzees, assume the same position, their hands cross at their knees.

Humans make a point of hiding the areas they think are their weakest or most vulnerable

How the Rich and Famous Reveal

Their Insecurity


People who are continually exposed to others, such as royalty, politicians, television personalities, and movie stars, usually don't want their audiences to detect that they are nervous or unsure of themselves. They prefer to project a cool, calm, controlled attitude when on display, but their anxiety or apprehension leaks out in disguised forms of arm-crossing. As in all arm-cross gestures, one arm swings across in front of the body toward the other arm, but instead of the arms crossing, one hand touches or holds on to a handbag, bracelet, watch, shirt cuff, or object on or near their other arm. Once again the barrier is formed and the secure feeling is achieved.

Famous people are just as nervous in public as the rest of us

Men wearing cuff links are often seen adjusting them as they cross a room or dance floor where they are in full view of others. The Cuff-Link-Adjust is the trademark of Prince Charles, who uses it to give himself a feeling of security anytime he walks across an open space in full view of everyone.

Prince

Return Main Page Previous Page Next Page

®Online Book Reader