The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease [35]
You would think that after more than half a century of being scrutinized in public and being confronted by large crowds, royals, such as Prince Charles, would be resistant to nervous feelings, but his small arm-crossing behaviors reveal that he feels just as insecure as you or I would feel in the same circumstances.
An anxious or self-conscious man will also be seen adjusting the band on his watch, checking the contents of his wallet, clasping or rubbing his hands together, playing with a button on his cuff, or using any gesture that lets his arms cross in front of his body. A favorite of insecure businessmen is walking into a business meeting holding a briefcase or folder in front of the body. To the trained observer, these gestures are a giveaway because they achieve no real purpose except as an attempt to disguise nervousness. A good place to observe these gestures is anywhere that people walk past a group of onlookers, such as a man who crosses the dance floor to ask a woman to dance or someone who crosses a stage to receive an award.
Women's use of disguised arm barriers is less noticeable than men's because women can grasp on to things like handbags or purses if they become self-conscious or unsure of themselves. Royals like Princess Anne regularly clutch a bunch of flowers when walking in public and the Flowers-Handbag-Clutch is Queen Elizabeth's favorite. It's unlikely that she would be carrying lipstick, makeup, credit cards, and theater tickets in her handbag. Instead, she uses it as a type of security blanket when necessary and as a means of sending messages; royal watchers have recorded twelve signals she sends to her minders about when she wants to go, stop, leave, or be rescued from someone who is boring her.
Handbag used to form a barrier
One of the most common versions of creating a subtle barrier is to hold a glass or cup with two hands. You need only one hand to hold a glass, but two hands allow the insecure person to form an almost unnoticeable arm barrier. These types of gestures are used by almost everyone and few of us are aware that we're doing them.
Flower-grasping shows self-consciousness
The Coffee Cup Barrier
Offering a refreshment during a negotiation is an excellent strategy for gauging how the other person is receiving your offer. Where a person places their cup immediately after they take a drink is a strong indicator of whether or not they are convinced or open to what you are saying. Someone who is feeling hesitant, unsure, or negative about what they are hearing will place their cup to the opposite side of their body to form a single-arm barrier. When they are accepting of what they are hearing, they place the cup to the side of their body, showing an open or accepting attitude.
The arm barrier says no
She's now open to your ideas
Sitting with your elbows on the armrest of a chair is a position of power and conveys a strong, upright image. Humble, defeated individuals let the arms drop inside the arms of the chair, so avoid this at all times unless your goal is to appear defeated.
The Power of Touch
Touching a person with your left hand while shaking hands with your right hand can create a powerful result.
Researchers at the University of Minnesota conducted an experiment that became known as “The Phone Booth Test.” They placed a coin on the ledge of a telephone booth, then hid behind a tree and waited for an unsuspecting subject to walk in and find it. When this happened, one of the researchers would approach the subject and say, “Did you happen to see my coin in that phone booth? I need it to make another call.” Only 23 percent of the subjects admitted they had found it and gave it back.
In the second part of the study, the coin was again placed in the phone booth, but when the researchers approached the people who took it, they touched them lightly on the elbow for not longer than three seconds and inquired about the coin. This time, 68 percent admitted to having the coin, looked