The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease [44]
In Italy, the order of talking is simple—the person with his hands raised has the floor and does the talking. The listener will have his hands down or behind his back. So the trick is to try to get your hands in the air if you want to get a word in and this can be done either by looking away and then raising them or by touching the other person's arm to suppress their hand as you raise yours. Many people assume that when Italians talk they are being friendly or intimate because they continually touch each other, but in fact, each is attempting to restrict the other's hands and take the floor.
In this chapter we'll evaluate some of the most common hand and thumb gestures in widespread use.
Tie an Italian's hands behind his
back and he'll be speechless.
On the One Hand…
Watching how a person summarizes a discussion giving both points of view can reveal whether they have a bias one way or another. They usually hold one hand palm up and articulate each point and then give the opposing points on the other hand. Right-handed people reserve their favored point of view for their right hand and left-handers favor their left.
On the Other Hand, Gestures Improve Recall
Using hand gestures grabs attention, increases the impact of communication, and helps individuals retain more of the information they are hearing. At the University of Manchester in England, Geoffrey Beattie and Nina McLoughlin conducted a study where volunteers listened to stories featuring cartoon characters such as Roger Rabbit, Tweetie Pie, and Sylvester the Cat. For some listeners, a narrator added hand gestures such as moving the hands up and down quickly to show running, a waving movement to demonstrate a hair dryer, and arms wide apart to show a fat opera singer. When the listeners were tested ten minutes later, those who had seen the hand gestures had up to a third higher response when recalling the details of the stories, demonstrating the dramatic effect hand gestures have on our recall ability.
In this chapter, we'll examine fifteen of the most common hand gestures you're likely to see every day and we'll discuss what to do about them.
Rubbing the Palms Together
Recently a friend visited us at home to discuss our forthcoming skiing holiday. In the course of the conversation she sat back in her chair, smiled broadly, rubbed her palms together rapidly, and exclaimed, “I can hardly wait!” With her Raised-Palms-Rub she had told us nonverbally that she expected the trip to be a big success.
Showing positive expectancy
Rubbing the palms together is a way in which people communicate positive expectation. The dice thrower rubs the dice between his palms as a sign of his positive expectancy of winning, the master of ceremonies rubs his palms together and says to his audience, “We have been looking forward to hearing our next speaker,” and the excited salesperson struts into the sales manager's office, rubs his palms together, and says excitedly, “We've just received a big order!” However, the waiter who comes to your table at the end of the evening rubbing his palms together and asking, “Anything else, sir?” is nonverbally telling you that he has expectancy of a good tip.
The speed at which a person rubs their palms together signals whom he thinks will receive the positive benefits. Say, for example, you want to buy a home and you visit a real estate agent. After describing the property you want, the agent rubs his palms together quickly and says, “I've got just the right house for you!” In this way the agent has signaled that he expects the results to be to your benefit. But how would you feel if he rubbed his palms together very slowly as he told you that he had the ideal property? He'd seem sneaky or devious and you'd get the feeling that he expected the results to benefit him, not you.
The speed of the hand rub signals whom
the gesturer thinks will get the benefit
Salespeople are taught to use the Palm-Rub gesture