The Definitive Book of Body Language - Barbara Pease [45]
“Have I got a deal for you!”
Always remember context: a person who rubs his palms together briskly while standing at a bus terminal on a cold day may not necessarily be doing it because he's expecting a bus. He does it because his hands are cold.
Thumb and Finger Rub
Rubbing the thumb against the index finger or fingertips is commonly used as a money-expectancy gesture. Its symbolism is that of rubbing a coin between the thumb and fingertips. It is often used by the street vendor who says, “I can save you 40 percent,” or by the person who says to his friend, “Can you lend me fifty dollars?”
“We can make money out of this!”
This gesture should be avoided at all times by any professional person who deals with clients, because it carries negative associations about money
Hands Clenched Together
At first, this gesture can seem to signal confidence, as some people who use it often also smile. On one occasion, we observed a negotiator describing the deal he had just lost. As he went further and further into his story, he had not only taken the Hands-Clenched position, his fingers were beginning to turn white and looked as if they were welding together. The Hands-Clenched gesture shows a restrained, anxious, or negative attitude. It's also a favorite of Queen Elizabeth when she is on royal visits and public appearances and it is usually positioned on her lap.
Hands clenched in raised position reveals frustration, even when smiling
Research into the Hands-Clenched position by negotiation experts Nierenberg and Calero showed that it was also a frustration gesture when used during a negotiation, signaling that the person was holding back a negative or anxious attitude. It was a position assumed by a person who felt they were either not convincing the other person or thought they were losing the negotiation.
The Hands-Clenched gesture has three main positions: hands clenched in front of the face; hands clenched resting on the desk or on the lap; and, when standing, hands clenched in front of the crotch.
Hands clenched in center position
Hands clenched in lower position
We discovered a correlation between the height at which the hands are held and the degree of the person's frustration: that is, a person would be more difficult to deal with when the hands are held high, as in a center position, than they would be in a lower position (see illustrations). As with all negative gestures, you need to take action to unlock the person's fingers, by offering them a drink or asking them to hold something, or their negative attitude will remain in the same way it does with any arm-crossing position.
The Steeple
So far, we've emphasized that gestures come in clusters, like words in a sentence, and that they must be interpreted in the context in which you observe them. Steepling can be an exception to these rules, as it often occurs in isolation. The fingers of one hand lightly press against those of the other hand to form a church steeple and will sometimes rock back and forth like a spider doing push-ups on a mirror.
We found that the Steeple was frequently used in superior-subordinate interaction and that it indicates a confident or self-assured attitude. Superiors often use this gesture position when they give instructions or advice to subordinates and it is particularly common among accountants, lawyers, and managers. People who are confident, superior types often use this gesture and, by doing so, signal their confident attitude.
Confident he has the right answers
Those who use this gesture sometimes convert the Steeple into a praying gesture in an attempt to appear God-like. As a general rule, the Steeple should be avoided when you want to be persuasive or win the other person's